Every year I do research to determine which toy will be the most popular of the Christmas season. This year, it’s a doll: half girl, half unicorn. Catch phrase: [reading box] “my horn can pierce the sky.” Pathetic. I bought out every store in the area over the past couple of weeks, and, as lazy parents become more desperate, I will sell them, at an enormous profit. Isn’t that right, princess? -Dwight, The Office

Match and I had our costumes planned out for Halloween ever since we saw last year’s Christmas episode of The Office. Anyone familiar with that episode? Match was going to go as Dwight, and I was going to go as…. (more…)

Andy still doesn’t know that Angela’s having an affair with Dwight. And it’s been seventeen days. I mean, eventually he’ll figure it out, when their kids have giant heads and beet-stained teeth. But right now it’s just…awkward. -Jim, The Office

It’s FRIDAY! I always look forward to Fridays, but this week I was dying for it to come. I can’t tell you what a long week it has been. So it’s time for the Funny Photos to start our Friday off with a smile.  These had me laughing so hard. I am such a fan of the Awkward Family Photos website. I love the captions they put up too, they’re brilliant. Go check them out for more laughs. Here are just a few that I thought needed to be shared with you all.

I just love this one cause I’m a shorty. How bad would you feel about your height when Dad says, here kid, go stand on this book so we can see you in the picture.

Can we say inferiority complex? What kind of man would agree to this?

This is just horribly awkward. Gran and Gramps in their skivvies with the whole crew. Was this strip poker gone wrong?

This is LOL cat hell!!

Jim: [regarding Pam's father] What did he say? Is it my fault?

Pam: Yeah. He said that you told him much you love me. About how you feel when I walk in a room. And about how you’ve never doubted for a second that I’m the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. I guess he’s never felt that way about my mom, even at their best.

Jim: You okay?

Pam: Yeah. [Cut to interview room] When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that. -The Office

Our anniversary date lived up to my expectations and then some. Match and I had discussed ahead of time not buying presents for each other and to just do cards and a nice meal. So when I got home, I was surprised (and oh so pleased) to see a bouquet of red roses waiting for me. The card he gave me was incredibly thoughtful, and my cheesy homemade photo card paled by comparison. He wrote to me about how much I mean to him, and that he’s found the one.

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Michael: Guys! Beef: it’s what’s for dinner! Who wants some man meat?

Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!

Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.

Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.  -The Office

I’m happy to say I’m finally on the mend. This sickness really kicked me in the bum. I’m starting to look forward to the weekend, and I’m so happy it’s Friday.
Saturday will mark my first Valentine’s Day with Match, and I think like New Year’s, we’re going to keep it low key. We are still both getting over being sick, and we’re just going to stay in. Still, I think it may be possible to make it romantic. I am planning on making one of the first dinners we every made together: seared ahi tuna, wild rice, and caprese salad. I think we’ll follow it with red wine and brownies, because you have to have chocolate on Valentine’s Day!
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Kelly: I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It’s going to grow up to three feet inside of  me and then it eats all my food so that I don’t get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It’s from Mexico.

[cuts to Creed in an interview]

Creed: That wasn’t a tapeworm.                        -The Office

I’ve kind of wondered about this for a long time. It seems like when us women get cozy and comfortable, and when we’re happy, a trigger goes off in our body saying bring on the cellulite! I wonder if it’s biology saying put on weight it’s time to make babies, or if it’s just that we’re not as busy? I do know I eat more with Match than I did when I was alone, because seriously, who wants to cook for one?

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