Simon: Day Eight, white water rafting.
Simon: This is a river, one tough bitch. A swirling, raging, thrashing, torrent of screaming water.Lindsey: Screamin’ water!
Simon: And I choose my words carefully, because she’s upturned the boat of many a clown, who thought they could tame her. You must respect her, you must respect the river if you wanna come out of her alive…
[Simon turns to look at the river]…you must respect her, understand her…
[Lindsey pushes Simon in the river]
Lindsey: Huhuhur, he’s in! That’s a tenner you owe me Baz! Hahahaha!-The Fast Show
Earlier this month, Match took me on a white water rafting trip for our first anniversary/birthday. We opted not to buy the photos because they were crazy expensive. But as luck would have it, the other couple from our raft bought them, and she emailed them to me a few days ago. Made my month! I offered to give her money but she insisted that it was a gift to us. How sweet are they? Now I feel kind of bad for complaining that they didn’t paddle. Well, they didn’t, but who cares because now we have fabulous, priceless photos of the trip!! Instead of sitting here gushing about them, I’m just going to let the pictures speak for themselves. Aren’t they badass? Oh, and Match and I are in the second row. You can tell it’s me because I have a ridiculous grin or open mouthed expression on almost every single picture.
[Alf is feeding the geese in a park]
Unlucky Alf: Not many pleasures remainin’ in life for an old gent, ‘part from poppin’ in t’ park for an hour or so to feed the geese. [to geese] Come on, come on me little friends, g-oooh!
[a goose appears and pecks at his crotch]
Unlucky Alf: Ooh, bugger! I didn’t realise that were goin’ t’ happen. Ooh! Not that I’ve got much use for it anymore, I suppose –The Fast Show
The silver lining on having to drive that awful commute all this week and next is that Geeky works in the same town as I do. We’ve been making it a point to get together for a lunchtime walk at least once a week until my last day. Yesterday we met up at a local park for our walk. We were having a lovely little chat, catching up on her wedding plans and fun girl gossip about everything from the best blackhead remover to how I should wear my hair for Match’s graduation when we came across a goose that looked a lot like THIS:
We tried to avoid the gaggle of geese because geese are always a little bit vicious. I guess this particular goose had it out for Monkey because before I knew what was happening he was CHASING US!! Geeky screamed and bolted into a dead sprint, dropping her keys in the process and hiding behind a nearby building. I ran the opposite way with Monkey, who didn’t seem to notice we were in grave danger. He just kept trying to pee on everything and wagging his tail like usual.
Once we got away from the goose we couldn’t stop laughing. “It was like every man for themselves!” Geeky said. We both had split off in opposite directions, not even looking to see if the other was ok. “What about Monkey?” I asked. “He didn’t even defend us! Some watch dog!”
We were laughing about it all the way back to our cars. I posted that picture I found of a goose on her facebook and I’m pretty sure we’ll be talking about that Evil Goose for years. Have you ever had a run in with an evil goose? Did you stand tall and brave or did you run away like a girly girl the way we did?