Doctor: Well, Rudolph, we finally figured out what makes your nose red.
Rudolph: Is it pixie dust, or-or Leprechaun tails?
Doctor: No, it’s an Offshore Injury tumor.
Rudolph: You mean, like a magical Christmas tumor?
Doctor: No, a malignant tumor, the base of which is lodged deep within your brain.
Rudolph: Oh…[pause] like a happy, special-
Doctor: You’re going to die. -Family Guy
Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here? -Brian, Family Guy
Last night Match and I decided to act our age and hit the town. We went out with Gym Buddy and her boyfriend, who when I get to know better I’m sure I’ll come up with a clever nickname. We decided to go meet up downtown at the Irish bar that is far too clean and trendy to be a traditional Irish pub. But the bartenders are nice and GB and her man got us a table so we could do some people watching and I could enjoy a dirty martini. (more…)
Lois: The only thing you create before 9 AM is exactly what you’ve turned my show into.
Peter: I think my work will speak for itself. [walks out of room and comes back a few seconds later] Oh, ha, ha. I just got that. A poop joke? That’s real creative, Lois. -Family Guy
I really do think that we girls are a whole lot more perverted and just plain gross compared to boys. I think it’s because girls have a tendency to talk about everything with each other. We don’t dumb it down, we don’t sugar coat it, at least not with our true girlfriends. We share everything.
I mention this because just the other night Match and I went out to dinner with Couple Friends. While Match and Couple Hubby were talking about cars, Couple Wife and I were having a truly cringe-worthy discussion about poop. (more…)
Hi-I'm Date Girl aka Mrs. Match-I'm a karaoke singing, animal loving, compulsively cleaning, bubbly goofball married to the love of my life. This blog is a diary of my life as a former date girl, how I met and fell in love with my husband Match, and our married life together. 
