Is This a Mistake?

There are certain things in life where you know it’s a mistake but you don’t really know it’s a mistake because the only way to know that it really is a mistake is to make that mistake and go, “Yup, that was a mistake”. So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you’ll go about your whole life not knowing whether it was a mistake or not.-Lily, How I Met Your Mother

Why does dating have to be this confusing? Why can’t I just meet a great guy, click, have great dates, amazing sex, and have that be it? Why do other super complicated things have to get involved? I was feeling very low on Thursday, and I needed a friend. I called Birthday Twin because I really needed a friend to talk to. I didn’t hear back from him. It’s Saturday and I still haven’t heard a word. I think he did the guy thing where he freaked out and ran away when he felt something. I really honestly wanted friendship out of him bottom line. I thought he understood me and I understood him, but maybe I was wrong. I have no intention of going back down the sex buddy road with him again, but I’d like to think we could still hang out as buds.

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Telling it Like it is

Communication: It’s the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.-Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy

I was sitting at work yesterday lost in thought, trying to get some of these confusing thoughts about Birthday Twin out of my head. I was also getting so frustrated with the Potential Guy. I couldn’t believe he would just not talk to me after all those great dates, and after such a great weekend together. I was trying to give up on the whole idea, when I got a text from PG.

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That Safe Feeling

And it’s not about the sex. It’s not… about the sex. It’s about that moment afterward… when the world stops. It just feels so safe, so safe. I’m not ready to give that up.-Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy

My anxiety was getting worse the longer the Potential Guy went without contacting me. I know it’s kind of lame, but I think most girls out there can agree with me that post coitus we need to hear something from the guy. I mean, he could have at least texted me that he was busy, just…something. So there I was filled with self doubt and stressing. Then Birthday Twin called me and said a few words that always cheer me up: “Are you coming over or what?”

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Birthday Twin to the Rescue

Friendship between a man and a woman is complicated, especially if they’ve shared something more. There are times when love can be stronger and even more rewarding if it’s built on the foundation of a really great friendship. But wherever it’s headed, wherever it’s been, being just friends doesn’t have to mean settling for something less. Sometimes it can be the brass ring afterall.-Marin, Men in Trees

So after spending a wonderful Saturday and some of Sunday together with the Potential Guy, I met up with one of my best girlfriends, who I like to call my Reality Check because she always gives me the pessimistic, non-rose colored version of what is going on in my life. I told her the story of what happened with PG, and she said that he is just getting the best of both worlds, and he is in no way accountable. It was as if she took my happy little bubble and stabbed it with an industrial sized needle. I came home and started to really think, and overthink. I started to worry about all the promises I’d made to myself about being single and happy. I worried about falling for PG and about getting hurt. I worried that she was completely right and that he was just having his cake and eating it too. And in this mist of all this worry, I started to get anxious. For the first time in months, I started having a mini panic attack. It was minor, but I knew it was one of those nights I just couldn’t be alone. So I called the first person I thought of, the person who would know exactly what I was going through, Birthday Twin.

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Conversational Amnesia

Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so high.-Carrie, Sex and the City

Last night I hung out with PG on what was supposed to be a non-date. We were going to get together and make dinner and just hang out as friends. It started out innocently enough. He looked great as always, so that was tough to deal with, but I put it out of my head. We were supposed to cook dinner together, but I decided to use this new friendship roll to my advantage.

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