Penelope: Why the hell should I help you?

Barney: Come on, I know it didn’t work out between us but we did have a relationship.

Penelope: We had sex in your car twice and then you dumped me. How is that a relationship?

Barney: Twice! -How I Met Your Mother

*Pain so bad my stomach aches. That oh too familiar hurt, emptiness. How can I ever face him?*

-He dumped me. Over the phone no less. I hurt so much. All I want to do is love, and be loved. He told me I want something he can’t give me. it’s true, but why did he go out with me in the first place? (more…)

Robin: [Downs drink] I can’t believe my baby sister is planning to lose her virginity to a douche with a faux-hawk. This can’t happen, you guys have help me talk her out of it.

Marshall: A speech to talk a girl out of sex…

Ted: …yeah I don’t have any of those.

Barney: Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.

Robin: Please? I’m her older sister; I’m supposed to teach her how to make good and responsible decisions.

Lily: It’s 2 o’clock and you’ve already had three Scotch and Sodas.

Robin: That’s why I need your help! -How I Met Your Mother

Losing the big V. This story is pretty cringe worthy. I would love to hear your stories. I can look back and laugh now, but at the time, I was mortified!! (more…)

Spanky: Want to spin a bottle and kiss whoever it lands on?

Captain Hero: Not right now. I’m depressed.

[pause]

Spanky: How about now?

Captain Hero: Yeah, all right. -Drawn Together

Skipping ahead a couple of entries to some more exciting stuff. The last few entries I was just mooney eyed over Metal Head. Here is where I start getting dramatic. Did I mention I used to get really depressed when I was younger? It’s strange to look back and read about that person I used to be, because I feel so far from that young, sad girl. I can really appreciate my life and what it is now, remembering the hard times I went through then.  (more…)

Jack: That’s a sharp tie you’ve got there, Dennis.

Dennis: That douchebag up front made me wear it.

Jack: Does he know you’re the Beeper King?

Dennis: I don’t think so.

Liz: This is clearly the nicest restaurant we’ve ever been to.

Dennis: Hold on a second, this place ain’t that nice, alright. It’s got rats and roaches like every other restaurant.

Liz: No rat talk tonight, okay.

Dennis: [to Jack] You know there are 17 million rats per person in Manhattan. You eat a pound of rat crap every year without even knowing it, huh?

Jack: I think I read about that in The New Yorker. [pause] Um, anyway, we’ll leave you two to your meal. I hope you enjoy the choices that you’ve made. -30 Rock

Here’s another installment from my early journal entries. Again my commentary is in pink. This one is kind of exciting. This is about when I started dating Metal Head. He was quite the tool, but I thought he was like, so dreamy. Previously I was dating a guy from out of town, but only for a few months. The way I wrote it, you’d think we’d been together for years. (more…)

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you’re in diapers, the next day you’re gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house like a lot of other houses, a yard like a lot of other yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back, with wonder. -The Wonder Years

It’s the first weekend of the new schedule where Match is working and I’m hanging out at the house, listening to Monkey snore and have puppy dreams. You know the ones where the dog yelps and runs in his sleep? Aren’t dogs cute? So tonight is the first night and I decided it’d be fun to go through my old journals (inspired by Brittany and her old livejournal entries) and remember the girl I used to be. Then I thought you readers might enjoy a peak at this girl too! So here is a new segment I’m starting, called Rewind Weekend. I’ll be transcribing excerpts from my Junior year high school diary. Back in my awkward days of acne and sometimes even eczema covered skin, post braces (thank god!) and brand new to the world of sex, occasional drinking, and lord the hormones… So welcome to Rewind Weekend, and Date Girl, the early years. I’m going to add my own commentary in pink. Enjoy! (more…)