Kelly: I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It’s going to grow up to three feet inside of  me and then it eats all my food so that I don’t get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It’s from Mexico.

[cuts to Creed in an interview]

Creed: That wasn’t a tapeworm.                        -The Office

I’ve kind of wondered about this for a long time. It seems like when us women get cozy and comfortable, and when we’re happy, a trigger goes off in our body saying bring on the cellulite! I wonder if it’s biology saying put on weight it’s time to make babies, or if it’s just that we’re not as busy? I do know I eat more with Match than I did when I was alone, because seriously, who wants to cook for one?

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Technorati Tags: The Office, weight gain

I’m not mad that your sleeping with Sloan. I’m mad that you didn’t tell me that your sleeping with Sloan. I’m mad at you. Because instead of telling me and admitting that your one of those girls who goes all pouffy when she gets a boyfriend, you disappear with your thing. (She walks away but stops) I don’t make friends easily. -Erica, Grey’s Anatomy

Ahhhh I’m sooo excited! Personality Twin is coming to town this Saturday! I haven’t seen her in so long, wow…She hasn’t even met Match yet! I can’t wait for them to meet, I know she’s gonna love him.

I’ve got our night all planned out-we’re going to karaoke it up at our favorite spot. It has a stripper pole for PT to dance around while I sing, haha! Before going out, we’re gonna spend the afternoon hanging out while Match is at class, which is perfect. We need some time to catch up and be girly before he comes home.

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Technorati Tags: girlfriends, Grey's Anatomy, losing friends

Barney: You know what I love about Halloween? It’s the one night of the year chicks use to unleash their inner ho-bag. A girl dresses up like a witch, she’s a slutty witch. If she’s a cat, she’s a slutty cat. If she’s a nurse-

Lily: Wow, we get it.

Barney: She’s a slutty nurse. -How I Met Your Mother

When I got home last night I was so excited! Halloween was finally here, and for the first time in my life I had a date. I was so ready to go out! I was just hoping that the outdoor lighting in downtown wasn’t too bright, because my lovely legs are still covered in rash marks. Unfortunately, my rash was the least of our worries.

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Technorati Tags: alice in wonderland, dress, halloween, How I Met Your Mother, stress

Liz: I don’t want to do this stuff but I have to because you’re so insecure you get jealous of babies for their soft skin!

Jenna: And how much attention they get. -30 Rock

This week has been pretty uneventful for Match and I. I’ve been spending the last few days recovering from my run, and now I can finally walk normally, yay! Friday we are going to try to sit down and carve pumpkins, one of my favorite parts of Halloween. I tried on my Alice costume and it fits pretty well. It’s even pretty accurate to the movie-all I need are some blue contact lenses to hide my green eyes and I’m Alice! Ok, I won’t go that extreme, but it’d be cool. I always thought it’d be fun to have contacts, but my fear of touching my eyeballs has always prevented me from them.

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Technorati Tags: 30 Rock, relationship change, Rift between friends

Roxanne: The marathon is great, isn’t it?

Jerry: Yes, particularly if you’re not in it. -Seinfeld

Yesterday was the big day-my half marathon. Match couldn’t be there because of the academy and Reality Check had bailed on me early on, so it was just me driving out to the city. I was nervous and jittery all weekend, and had an added stress of car issues right before my trip. I guess I had worn the brakes down pretty bad on my car, due to all the hard drives for work; the hour long commuting I do daily, the trips to San Francisco, and the most recent trip to Tahoe really did a number on them. So almost $800 later, I picked up my car and headed to San Francisco. Needless to say, my spirits were pretty down. Knowing that I wasn’t going to have anyone to hug me after crossing that finish line didn’t help. I was starting to really throw myself a pity party, but then I talked to Match and he made me feel better. Still, it was hard to get to sleep the night before the race.

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Technorati Tags: leukemia lymphoma society, Nike Women's Half Marathon, running, Seinfeld