Did you ever once show me any friendship? Ever ask my help in a personal problem? Include me in one of your little bull sessions? Can you imagine how it feels to walk by this tent and… (She gasps and breaks down)…hear your laughter and know that I’m not welcome? When did one of you ever even offer me a lousy cup of coffee?! -Margaret, M*A*S*H

Last night I offered to cook dinner for Couple Friends. I had this idea in my head that they would come over to our place and have dinner, maybe play games or just drink wine and talk. Couple Hubby and Match decided they wanted to watch the Nascar race that CH had recorded the day before on his DVR. So dinner got moved to Couple Friends’ house. I thought it would still be a good time, because Couple Wife and I could gab in the kitchen while the men watched sports. I was really looking forward to a girl’s chat, and had been really needing one for the past few weeks. Little did I know that my innocent offer to cook would make me Kitchen Slave while Couple Friends and Match relaxed on the couch watching the race.

I tried not to be bummed, but I couldn’t help feeling left out while they sat there relaxing and I was slaving away in the kitchen. Match even came into the kitchen a few times to give me kisses and ask how I was doing. He could tell I was a bit let down, but he couldn’t fix it. What was I supposed to do? Demand that CW come hang out with me? I knew that would be juvenile. Still, I guess I just hoped that since we hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks that she would want to.  I called Coast Sister the next day to tell her about it, because I knew she would understand. We’re a lot alike, and if it had been us having a friend cook in our house, we’d be in the kitchen asking if we could help. In her defense, CW did offer to help, but she did so with a half heartedness that suggested she just wanted to stay where she was. I don’t blame her in a way, it is nice to have someone do all the work, and she’s a new mom, and probably tired most of the time. I can’t pretend to know what that’s like. Still, I couldn’t help being a little let down by the evening.

At work today, I started thinking about how even though Couple Wife is always so friendly, she rarely goes out of her way to invite me to anything. Back in October, both Match and I were both anticipating Halloween invitations to different parties, and hoping to hang out with Couple Friends. As some of my faithful readers know, we were never invited. Then Christmas and New Years came and went without an invitation to the many parties they frequented.  Then there are the few times I’ve asked her to go on walks, or go for a cup of coffee. She does so, but I just wish it was reciprocated sometimes. I know she has a lot of friends, and sometimes I get the feeling she just doesn’t have room for anymore, at least not on a closer level.

I miss my Coast Sister and I’m so grateful she’s available via IMs, texts, and phone calls. Still, it would be so nice if she lived in the same town. I miss Reality Check at times, the old RC who I could talk to and laugh with, or just go on a walk with. I miss Brazil, who is now in total Mommy mode (I know she’ll come around eventually, but let’s face it, she’s a mom, she’s changed). I miss Personality Twin and her crazy stories. Maybe I just need to make a visit out to the East Coast to see CS. If only I had the vacation time! And maybe I just need to give Couple Wife time. Maybe like me she’s been burned by friends so she takes awhile to let someone get close. And maybe like Match said, she just had an off day. All I know is I am going to let her be the one to invite me to do something next. If she never does, well then I guess I have my answer eh?

How about you girls? Do any of you have trouble maintaining close girl friendships? Why does it seem to be harder the older we get?

Cheer up, Bart. Milhouse is still going to need a true friend, someone to tell him he’s great. Someone to rub lotion on him. Someone he can hurl whiskey bottles at when he’s feeling low. -Lisa, The Simpsons

Friday night Match and I got to hang out with Couple Wife and Couple Hubby. They just recently moved into their first home, and it is beyond drool worthy. Their house is a 2 story, 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom home, and it’s gorgeous! CW has the exact same taste I do in furniture and I couldn’t help but be jealous of their beautiful home. Someday…someday that will be us.

We all cozied up on the couch and watched a good but really random movie about a guy who thinks he’s a super hero but he’s completely delusional. It was pretty funny in parts, and I loved that CW and CH talked and made comments throughout it, just like Match and I do. It makes for a more entertaining movie.

After the movie, Couple Hubby and Match went out to the garage to look at CH’s project car. Match and I have talked about building a project car someday-I think it would be a lot of fun. While the boys were out talking men talk, Couple Wife and I looked at her wedding pictures. Their wedding was so beautiful! We talked about the cost, and all the details to remember. Since she just got married in July everything is all fresh in her mind, so I was grilling her for information. I know it’s all wishful thinking right now, but it’s so much fun to talk about.

Saturday was the much awaited visit from Personality Twin. We started the afternoon off with just hanging out around the apartment. The first thing she said to me when she saw the changes I’d made since Match moved in was, “Wow, you’re a grown up now!” We spent the afternoon on the couch with our laptops, just casually hanging around the house. That’s what I love about PT-when it comes to being a guest, she’s very low maintenance. I can just relax and not have to worry about entertaining her. She’s very self sufficient!

So Match came home around 5, and I started cooking dinner. Match was being really goofy and cracking jokes to entertain Personality Twin. They seemed to get along right away which was so nice. PT and I had fun getting ready together, putting on our makeup in the guest bathroom, giggling and being girlie. She sat in the sink for some reason: it was random and made for an adorable picture.

We had a good time at karaoke even though Match’s cousin was a no show. So much for my match making skills! It was fun to people watch-there are some wacky people that come to karaoke bars. Plus the place we went to has a stripper pole on the karaoke stage, and of course the most unattractive people in the crowd are the ones that like to get up there and shake their stuff. Ewwww.

Sunday morning Match and I got to sleep in for us. His academy started at 9 instead of 8, so we slept some. Then I spent the morning snuggled up on the couch watching movies and waiting for PT to get up. We walked downtown and got breakfast, then headed to the mall after. I was getting really down about my recent weight gain, and I was joking around going to the health food store and buying the best diet pills they carry. But PT cheered me up and said I looked great. Still, I would like to lose about ten pounds, just gotta get some exercise. We also talked a lot about my potential wedding that’s going to happen someday. PT insisted on being the wedding planner, which I think is awesome. She said when I get engaged she’ll come into town and help me figure everything out. I can’t wait for that day!

After the mall PT had to head home and Match got the second half of the day off. It was so nice to get to spend the day together! We went to the park and went on a long walk, and worked out on the obstacle course there, doing crunches and push ups. After that we went to Match’s parents house and took pictures for our Christmas card. I’m so excited that we’re sending out a couples Christmas card! We started out trying to prop the camera on a rock and take the pictures ourselves. Of course those didn’t turn out that great, and we were having a hard time. Luckily Match’s mom showed up and took the pictures for us. She was great at taking pictures! I couldn’t believe the shots she got. The hard part is going to be deciding which one to use for our card!

I’m not mad that your sleeping with Sloan. I’m mad that you didn’t tell me that your sleeping with Sloan. I’m mad at you. Because instead of telling me and admitting that your one of those girls who goes all pouffy when she gets a boyfriend, you disappear with your thing. (She walks away but stops) I don’t make friends easily. -Erica, Grey’s Anatomy

Ahhhh I’m sooo excited! Personality Twin is coming to town this Saturday! I haven’t seen her in so long, wow…She hasn’t even met Match yet! I can’t wait for them to meet, I know she’s gonna love him.

I’ve got our night all planned out-we’re going to karaoke it up at our favorite spot. It has a stripper pole for PT to dance around while I sing, haha! Before going out, we’re gonna spend the afternoon hanging out while Match is at class, which is perfect. We need some time to catch up and be girly before he comes home.

I think I’m gonna try to convince Match to bring his cousin out with us when we go out. We went out with him on Halloween and he’s a lot of fun. He’s our age, cute, successful and fun. He dresses nice, and wears  nice clothes, so I know he’s her type. He’s also pretty down to earth, and doesn’t seem metro at all. He already owns his own home, which is impressive. Now I am not trying to be a total matchmaker here, but if they get along and PT has a good time flirting, all the better. I just want to make sure she doesn’t feel like a third wheel. Though knowing us, Match will probably feel like a third wheel more than PT. Ha!

I really need this weekend after the falling out with Reality Check. After our nice talk awhile back, she really didn’t change her behavior. I didn’t hear from her for a week, and then when I did, she wanted to make plans on one of the few days of the week that I’ve told her repeatedly I can’t hang out. It was just another example of her not listening to what’s going on in my life, and everything being about her. I realized that I hadn’t missed not talking to her, and in fact I was relieved. So I wrote her out a long well thought out letter (which Coast Sister helped me compose) telling her how I felt. I basically “broke up” with RC. I felt bad, but it needed to be done, because the stress of our friendship was getting to me. I am sad in some ways, but mostly sad for her. Still, I think I made the right decision. Friendships are not supposed to be this hard. Yes you have to put forth effort, yes you need to be there for each other, but when it becomes constant stress and worry, it is too much. I don’t think RC and I were every as close as we thought we were. I think we were just two people who needed someone to hang out with. We didn’t agree on anything, and we were fundamentally different in almost every way.

Still even though I’m relieved to have said all I needed to say to Reality Check (and give her a dose of reality) I was sad because it just reminded me of how lonely I’ve been. When Match is in class I spend a good majority of my time alone. I miss my good girlfriends who are spread out all over. So Personality Twin coming to town could not have come at a better time. I think she must have turned on her friend radar. Can’t wait till Saturday!!

It was like something from an old movie, where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, “See that girl? I’m gonna marry her someday.”-Ted, How I Met Your Mother

So I was chatting with Mama Drama about if the Date Girl Diaries were a movie. We were trying to come up with who would play the cast, and we were having fun with it. Even Match got involved! So I thought it would be fun if you guys played the game with us.

The main cast would be of course me, Date Girl, Match, Mama Drama, and Coast Sister. We’d have appearances for the other characters, such as Brazil, Birthday Twin, Miss PHD, Couple Friends, Nice Guy, and Reality Check, and then bit parts for the exes (It’d be fun to cast those jerks, hehe). The first four are the ones we were focusing on when we were playing the game.

I think I have two actresses I’d love to use for Mama Drama and Coast Sister. For Mama Drama, she’d have to have a sweet, loveable personality, and of course a southern drawl if she could do it in a believable way. Both Match and I suggested Melissa McCarthy, who used to play the loveable chef on the Gilmore Girls, and who is now one of Samantha’s best friends on abc’s Samantha Who. She’s got spunk and character, and I think she could pull off Mama Drama. I can already see her attempting to chat with me online while chasing after her four kids.

For Coast Sister, this has to be someone who was not only beautiful, but also quirky and silly, and not afraid to be loud. She has to have a big smile, and a contagious laugh. I picked Alyson Hannigan because she encompasses all of those qualities. Plus I think her hair looks a lot like Coast Sisters.

Whoever plays Match would have to have a strong, Powerfull personality. Not like so many of those actors they have in romantic comedies, where they are gorgeous but with zero personality. Not so unlike hot guys in real life. I would like to think of my Match as an exception to that rule. So I’m struggling with who would play him in the fictional movie Date Girl Diaries.

I’m also not sure who would play me. It’d be nice to find a shorty like myself (I stand at a towering 5ft). She’d also have to have a big smile, and not be too pretty. She’d have to have that I can be a goofball quality.

Sooo, once again I decided it’d be fun to make a poll. So tell me what you guys think: Who should play Match, and who should play Date Girl, if I were ever lucky enough to get a movie deal?

In the end I decided I was definitely 34 going on 35, but in a city like New York, with its pace and its pressures, sometimes it’s important to have a 13-year-old moment. To remember a simpler time when the best thing in life was just hanging out, listening to records and having fun with your friends. In your very own apartment. -Carrie, Sex and the City

I’ve always been one of those girls that has a lot of guy friends. I never really had close girlfriends growing up. Girls in middle school were so mean! I grew up with three brothers, and boys were just easier to get along with and talk to. I loved being one of the guys. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to realize that girlfriends are not only important, I think they’re necessary, especially when in a serious relationship. There are just some things I can talk to a girl about that a guy just wouldn’t understand. Not only that, but sadly, it is true that most guy friends are just guys that at one point had a crush on you and it never worked out. They’re sort of waiting in the wings. While I don’t agree with Reality Check entirely on her view; she believes that guys and girls can’t be friends at all. I think that it is possible, but I think having a best guy friend when you’re in love with another guy is next to impossible.

Match is my best friend, and I do still have good guy friends, but we don’t talk all the time and hang out on a regular basis. Maybe that’s part of getting older? In high school I loved being the only girl, because I got a lot of attention. Now that I’m maturing, I don’t need all that attention from more than one guy. I get it all from Match.
I still handle my girl friendships with caution, as I’ve been burned pretty badly by girls in the past. I have a few close girlfriends that I talk to on a regular basis. Mama Drama, Coast Sister, Reality Check, Brazil, and Personality Twin. I talked to Personality Twin on the phone the other day after a month of no communication. I’ve been missing that girl! So Personality Twin is in this completely different phase in her life, but I can completely identify with it-she’s just out of college, trying to decide what she wants to do. She was looking into Chicago jobs or other jobs back East . Then that would be three of my good girlfriends all living way across the country from me. What is up with that? And Reality Check has been thinking of going to South America this summer to work with children in a third world country. She’s also talking about going to graduate school next year in Berkeley, which means she’ll be commuting an hour and still working full time. I can guarantee we’ll see less of each other this coming year.

I am missing my girlfriends, but it’s great to know that I have such good ones. I have 5 friends I can call up and talk to about pretty much anything, and each friend adds to my life in her own way. I can’t wait for the day when I can start planning my wedding, and I can talk to each of these women and get super girly about it all. We are gonna have one hell of a bridal shower if I can get them all in the same state at the same time! That is one of the best parts about your gal pals-that ability to revert to being little girls, playing dress up and daydreaming about your future.