I think like a South Kasnian?! Has it even entered your skull that they think like South Kasnians?! And you’d better start thinking that way, too, if you want there to be a Northerner left in this rat-infested dirt heap you call a country! All any of you mortals are good for is to slaughter one another! To fight and fight until the bones of your enemies are strewn across the battlefield, only to rise again in the next generation, like a well-tended crop! That’s what the Annihilator is for! But nooo, you’re using it to play tag!-Justice League

I was tagged by Vandy J over at The Testosterone Three and Me. It’s been a
long time since I played one of these games so here goes:

#1. Post these rules:
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them that you’ve tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about “you are tagged if you are reading this.” Legitimately tag 11 people!!

#2 eleven random things about myself:
1. My Virgo astrology sign fits me too well. Sometimes I wish I could be just a little more laid back.
2. I can’t go a whole day without checking my email. As far as addictions go I suppose it could be worse.
3. I have a love affair with spray paint as a decorating tool.
4. I’ve been obsessed with updating our house and checking off the to do list items.
5. I love making to do lists and checking them off.
6. I’m a sucker for cheesy YA books. My latest embarrassment-Shadowland, from the Immortals series. It’s terrible but I love it. Match makes fun of me when he reads the book jackets.
7. I’m that annoying morning person. The kind that jumps out of bed and starts singing. This pisses off Match to no end as he is NOT a morning person.
8. If I could get away with it I would wear sweatpants or nursing scrubs everywhere. I definitely prefer comfort over fashion. Please don’t think less of me.
9. I sleep nekkid or sometimes just in undies. Tshirts make me feel like I’m being slowly strangled in my sleep. I’ll learn to sleep in clothes when I have kids, I promise!
10. I DVR some really embarrassing shows, like Jane By Design and The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I love ‘em like I love my YA books.
11. I swore I would never get hooked on pinterest and yet I’ve already done three crafts from pins I’ve found and I pin things at least once a day. Eep!

#3:
1. Do you have a nickname? Bug. I’ve had it since I was born. It’s an odd family nickname but I love it.
2. What is something you’ve always wanted to do, but never mustered up the courage to try? Scuba diving. I would love it but I’m claustrophobic and the mask, plus weights, plus tank = hyperventilation. I tried it twice in a pool and flipped out both times. So I guess I mustered the courage but it didn’t pan out. I don’t plan on trying again!
3. What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you go through with it? I wanted to be a dolphin trainer or work with animals. I did get my degree in Zoology, and I had a brief stint as an education guide at Marine World, where I met dolphin trainers and learned they were all stuck up and extremely arrogant. I also learned that if I wanted to work at a zoo, I would get paid barely over minimum wage and I would be a glorified poo shoveler. So I chose a different career path. Sometimes I do miss working with animals but I’m content for now with my pup.
4. Would you rather have a housekeeper or unlimited spa services? Unlimited spa services for sure. I find cleaning theraputic and it’s the #1 way I let out aggression. So I’d rather have a nice deep tissue massage from a sculpted hottie than a house keeper who might steal my spare change.
5. Do you collect anything? Not really. I’m a bit of a minimalist and I don’t like a lot of knick knacks. When I was younger I loved dolphin stuff and had quite the collection of ugly ceramic dolphins *shudder*.
6. How did you name your blog? Ugh, this is a sore spot as I sometimes wish I could change it. I came up with the name because this was original my dating diary. But since I’ve been with Match for so long now, it hardly feels like a dating diary anymore. It should really be named the Married Diaries or something like that. But then I’d lose all my followers so I’ll just leave it be.
7. What is the best compliment you have ever received? It’s too hard to pick the ones Match has said to me. He’s always spouting off these awesome compliments that make me stammer and say, uhhh yeah you too. One compliment that sticks out is someone once told me I’ve very “genuine” which I loved. I strive to always be real, and it felt good that someone noticed. 
8. What was your “Oh no, I’m turning into my mom/dad” moment? I haven’t had one yet but I’m sure as soon as I have kids I’ll have a lot of them!
9. What is your quirkiest habit? Probably my silly little songs and dances I do around the house. If someone walked in on me I’d be mortified.
10. Favorite 80s movie? Weird Science is pretty high up there. I must have watched that movie at least 10 times. I thought the brunette guy was cute. Don’t even ask me why. I also loved the song. Weird Science, is it reallll?

11. Name one thing you are proud you have accomplished: I’m pretty proud of all the handy work I’ve been doing around the house. I know it isn’t much, but it’s so great to look at the updated fireplace, or the newly painted bathroom fixtures and say, yes, I did that!

#4. Here are my 11 questions for those who want to play:

1. Name one of your embarrassing habits. Come on I know you have more than one, don’t even try to deny it.
2. What’s one thing you miss about being a kid?
3. Fill in the blank: I wish I knew how to ____:
4. What’s a song that could be the soundtrack to your current life?
5. Are you a saver or a spender?
6. What’s one material thing on your wish list right now?
7. Are you doing anything special for Valentine’s Day?
8. What’s your favorite all time movie?
9. What’s your favorite smell?
10. Who is your favorite stand up comedian?
11. If you’re single, do you daydream about your wedding? If you’re married, do you ever wish you could have a wedding do-over or would you just relive the day?

#5. Tag you’re it! If you feel like answering the questions, you can on your blog or in the comments. I’m not a big fan of rule following, which is why I <3 Talk to Us Tuesdays. Maybe that should be another one of my random facts-I’m a rule breaker. Ha, only in the blog world!!

The transition from summer to fall is a tricky one. Like astronauts returning from space. We had to re-enter the atmosphere of school carefully, so the sudden change in pressure wouldn’t kill us. -The Wonder Years

This part of the year was definitely the most fun. I did have some bouts of loneliness, but overall we had a very busy, very fun summer.

July:

I became a terrible dog mom.

We walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.

I had to say goodbye to Monica and Chandler for a whole year. Miss them both terribly!

I learned how to make Cuban pulled pork sandwiches. Try this recipe, you will thank me later!

I also shot a hand gun for the first time, and much to my surprise, I enjoyed it!

August:

I threw myself into earning money online to help contribute to our down payment. I was featured on Janette’s Friend to Friend Match Up with my Bloggy BFF Impulsive Addict. That was pretty kick ass!  We spent a lot of free time house hunting. We saw doozies like the house with the fireplace big enough for me to live in:

I celebrated with the Wolf Pack for Geeky’s Bachelorette Party.

and we took our annual trip to Carmel. We rode bikes, kayaked, and enjoyed an amazing trip with Match’s family.

September:

Match and I survived our first year of marriage and can no longer claim we’re newlyweds. Sigh.

I also wrote this sappy little post and included a wedding video, just in case you really want to soak up the sappiness.

I introduced the world to  Triple B.

I turned 28 and celebrated a very mellow birthday. But it was more than made up for by the white water rafting trip that Match took me on.

and the month ended on a bang with Geeky’s beautiful wedding.

Wow, I can’t believe we did all that in just three months!

Frank: Gil, you have a good memory. Uh, was it yours or Helen’s or Susan’s wedding I got drunk at?
Gil: It was all three, Dad. Congratulations. -Parenthood

April:

April was a monumental month for us. Match graduated from law enforcement academy. Sassy and I BROUGHT IT to the Graduation after party.

We let loose after 6 months of pure stress. That month not only were we celebrating Match’s gigantic achievement, but also my freedom from a job that was crushing my spirit. I got used to being unemployed. It was a bit of a change.

May:

May was a busy month. Match and I finally went camping together.

I can’t believe it took us almost 3 years to go, since we both are big into camping.

We got drunk and silly at a Giants game with Sassy Couple. I got to visit with two of my good girlfriends, Geeky and Couple Wife. Geeky and I had a girl’s night out, and we had a double date with Couple Friends.

I went to my first ever gay bachelor party, aka Cockapalozza, aka Dong Nights. Then Token Gay Couple got hitched at the end of May

and I “won” for being the most inebriated.

June:

I had my 10 year reunion and instead of feeling old and awkward, I felt loved, and proud to be a part of the class of 2001. I never blogged about it, but it was also very emotional for me to go to the reunion and see so many of my classmates with kids. To say my uterus ached was an understatement.

Chandler and Monica tied the knot

…and I spent the night on a dog bed.

Now that we’ve moved, Monkey is in need of a new vet. I know, I’m sad we had to leave Hottie McVet behind too. I’m hoping we can find someone that looks as fabulous in cotton scrubs as he did. I’ve been searching on yelp and checking reviews. We all know how important it is to find a trustworthy vet for our fur babies.
While looking for a vet, I keep thinking of my old job as a vet tech, and how much fun I used to have with it. If I can find a really good one, that maybe has a part time job opening, maybe I could get back into the vet tech bus. I could get cute scrubs again at http://www.blueskyscrubs.com/ and basically wear pjs to work. So far I haven’t seen any job openings though. So in the meantime I’ll be on the lookout for a reliable, kind, reasonably priced vet. If he’s a hottie that’d be a plus!

Lily: I could totally let you down. Has that thought not occurred to you?
Marshall: Not even for one second. Not having a baby would suck, but the idea of you letting me down, that’s impossible.-How I Met Your Mother

My good bloggy friend IA recently wrote a post about how so many of us bloggers need to remember to get real in our posts and to take off the rose colored glasses. You guys know that normally I tell it like it is on this blog, aka my diary. But lately I’ve definitely been guilty of having the rose colored glasses. Now don’t get me wrong: I’m unbelievably happy about the new house, and everything is going fine with me and Match.

But there has been something weighing on my mind for months now, and I haven’t come clean about it with you all. Now that we’re all settled in our home it’s become harder to avoid the subject too, especially among family. At our housewarming, when we’d give the tours of the house, all anyone would say was, “So when are you going to fill this house with BABIES?” It’s a harmless question, and perfectly natural to ask two happily married people who just moved into a 4 bedroom house.

But it’s not such a harmless question to two people who have wanted little else for the past few months. Make that a whopping nine months. It was 9  months ago that on the ride home from Easter Sunday with the in-laws that Match jokingly said, “I wanna put a baby in you.” To which I laughed, oh yeah, and what if I said yes? To which he said, “No really, I’m dead serious.” That’s when we sat down and talked about starting our family.

We were so naive. We were that couple that thought it would be a first time’s a charm type of thing. I hated (still do) the word “Trying” when talking about pregnancy. I hate the idea of having to work towards something that should be so natural and easy. At first I lied to myself and said it was fine. That even though I’ve been off the pill since ’09 and Match and I have been less than careful well before “trying” that it didn’t mean anything. That we needed for Match to graduate from academy, and we still had so much to do. But then each month after that would go by and the ache in my chest would get a little bigger. I have always been a swallow my emotions and tough it up kind of person. Then we started house hunting and I focused all of my energy on that instead. Then we kept getting outbid on every house we put an offer on. Once again it felt like we were constantly getting our hopes up, only to be disappointed in the end.

It doesn’t help that everywhere I look it seems like someone else is announcing a pregnancy. I think we’re just getting to that age in our lives where it’s the natural progression. The holidays don’t help. Everywhere I go I’m reminded of children.

I will never forget the day Match broke down in tears of frustration one particularly rough evening, after yet another no came from the Realtor, and another month of “symptoms” from me turned out to all be in our my head. “I can’t give you a house, I can’t give you a baby. I feel like a failure.” I think I died a little inside that day.

But now we’re halfway there. We finally got the house. We’ve settled in, and we’re ready. We’ve even picked out the room for baby.

The rocking chair is in place; all the baby books we’ve collected over the years to read to our little one are under the window seat. I have a hard time going into that room because it’s too painful for me.

If you’re reading this and you have advice, I ask you to read the following article from thebump.com before giving it, especially if you’ve never struggled with trying to get pregnant. I have been guilty of saying many things on this list, and now that I’m in their shoes, I can’t tell you how much I wish I could take back what I’ve said.

I’m not writing this to get sympathy comments. I know so many people out there have had far harder and longer infertility struggles. But I’m just putting it out there because I need to get this off my chest. I need to be able to look back on this blog and read this to my future children. To show them just how much they were wanted. How their mommy and daddy would give anything to have their laughter fill up our home.