Gloria: [to Jay and Manny, about learning to ride a bike] You two have fun. I pass. It makes no sense. There’s no reason that thing should stay upright.

Jay: There’s no reason you should stay upright, but it just works. -Modern Family

This was my third trip to Carmel with Match and his family, and the first with my sister in law. She brought her boyfriend and it was the first time Match and I met him. Needless to say in a two bedroom vacation rental, we had quite the full house with the 6 of us and two dogs. Despite not having a room to ourselves, we still had a great time, possibly the best we’ve had in Carmel yet!

The first day Match had to catch up on sleep having just worked the night shift Thursday. So we left him at the house while the rest of us went to Monterey for a bike ride. The last time I rode a bike for any length of time I was probably in my teens. I was nervous that I would fall, or lag way behind because it’s been so long. But it’s true what they say and before long it was like no time had passed. I managed to stay upright the entire 2 hour long ride!

I’m not sure the exact distance we went, but we were all panting and sore by the time we stopped. We found a pub on the ride back and stopped in for appetizers and fuel aka beer.

My in-laws are the cutest. Over 30 years together and still all kissy face.

That night we all walked to downtown Carmel for a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant.

The food was amazing and company excellent. We got to knew Travel Girl’s beau a little bit better. It’s obvious that the two are very much in love and that makes me happy.

After dinner we had to walk off all that food, so we did a little window shopping. I did what I do best and acted like a fool.

We passed right out that night, exhausted from the bike ride. I can’t wait to get a bike of my own someday.  When’s the last time you took a long bike ride somewhere?

Robin: When PJ had a job, he was sexy. He was guardian of the bathroom key. A hot guy telling you when you can and can’t pee? That’s the dream.
Ted: [incredulous] That’s the dream? The dream?!?!?! Like what Martin Luther King was talking about?? -How I Met Your Mother

That I quit my volunteer gig at the crisis nursery. I feel bad about it but it just wasn’t a good fit for me. I was physically dreading going, to the point where my body felt sick and sluggish. The minute I emailed the coordinator telling her it wasn’t going to work out, I felt a weight lift off my chest. Shouldn’t volunteering feel rewarding? A big part of my reason for quitting was the staff and how they made me feel.

Another part was just the nature of the job. It was a lot of stress and responsibilities to deal with and now just isn’t  a good time. I think if I were like the other volunteers and had already raised children of my own, or had a lot of experience dealing with kids, then it would be another story. I did really love playing with the kids for the most part, and I’m still on the lookout for something in the future that involves working with kids. Maybe just not kids in crisis, but more of a nursery or after school program instead. Somewhere they would train me properly. I’d also like something in the town we are moving to when we buy a house. This volunteer job would have been a huge trek and cost us a lot in gas and bridge toll when we move.

I confess…

That our lives are also going to be consumed with buying a home. I know that once we close, I’m going to spend all of my spare time fixing up the house and making it our own. I cannot wait to become homeowners!

I confess…

That we put an offer in on a home on Sunday and we’re still waiting to hear back. I’m trying not to lose hope but it’s not looking good guys. I don’t even want to post pictures of it because it’ll bum me out. It’s sooo pretty.

I confess…

That I’m so so excited for our annual trip to Carmel. We are leaving just as soon as Match gets home from work today. I’m driving us so he can sleep and try to get on a normal day schedule. It will be so nice to walk the beaches with Match and Monkey. To get up in the morning and get coffee and donuts for the fam. To drink gin and tonics and watch the waves crash on the sand.

I confess…

That the only thing I’m dreading is having to sleep in the living room. This year Match’s sister, Travel Girl and her boyfriend will be joining us. It’s the first time we’re meeting him, and it’s the first time I’ve vacationed anywhere with her. Since she hasn’t been to Carmel in so long, and they are staying longer than we are, Match’s parents are giving them the guest room. This leaves us, the married couple, to the living room.

I confess…

That Match and I both think this is bullshit. BUT the in-laws are paying for the vacation rental, and a lot of the food for the weekend, and I really shouldn’t complain. I’m so grateful because otherwise we’d have to take out a check city payday advance loans. We are guests of theirs and we will have fun no matter where we have to sleep. They just might have to deal with us locking ourselves in the bathroom for a little vacation nookie. Hey, that’s what happens when you don’t give the newlywed couple who haven’t had a lot of time together lately the bedroom!

I confess…

It wouldn’t be the first time Match and I have done it in the bathroom of a parent’s house. We are so bad! Where’s the craziest place you’ve done it? Come on spill! Confession is good for the soul!

We’re friends, Annie. Remember? We played Dungeons and Dragons together.— Neil
That was a game … THIS IS PAINTBALL.— Annie, Community

On Friday, the day before Token Gay Couple’s Wedding, Match decided he wanted to go paintballing. And I, being the most wonderful wife that I am, agreed to play with him. Big mistake. It was kind of fun at first, but the biggest problem was the place we went was really badly run. It was also indoors and I think the sport was just meant to be played outside.

We played against seasoned pros who were probably about 10-12. There was one random dude who was pushing 35 and I couldn’t help but judge him a little. Never mind that I’m pushing 28.

We suited up and I have to say I was looking quite intimidating.

I’m about the same height as the kids so I fit right in.

Match was much more intimidating in his get up. Plus he can shoot and actually has aim.

The paintball establishment we went to made us sit around and wait forever until we got to play. I think part of this is tactics since they make you pay for an hour, including the wait time. Luckily for me and hour was plenty.

We got in, and the object was to shoot at people on the other side of the room. Now if you got hit, you were to wave your gun in the air so people knew you were out and run to the side of the field behind the nets. There were also rules posted everywhere about not swearing.

I thought that rule was easy enough to follow. Until I got hit. That shit HURTS! So I’m hopping up and down as I got smacked in the shoulder with what felt like an actual bullet and I’m saying every pg version of a swear word I can think of, while waving my gun wildly in the air, when a second white hot paintball bullet of death comes barreling at me and hits me in the shoulder in the EXACT SAME SPOT. “Sonofajesusmaryandjosephgoshdarnitmotherofpearlmothertrucker” is pretty much what I yelled as I ran across the field. Ok maybe I actually said, “I’m out you little fucker!” But I meant to make it pg. After that I was completely over it, but I decided to be a trooper and played one more round where I was promptly shot above my temple. I was grateful for the mask but I didn’t trust its ability to protect me and I officially quit.

Here’s me right after, and you can’t really see anything.

Note the dark spot on my arm. That’s where I was hit. TWICE. 

Match told me to quit whining and that it didn’t look that bad. He even showed me that he had been shot in the arm, but his never bruised like mine did.

I may try to play again but I definitely want to be outside and I definitely want more layers and padding.

After my brush with death, I mean paintball, we had dinner with the in-laws and had some well deserved food. We went to a Puerto Rican restaurant where the food was to die for.

Seriously it was so delicious. Afterwards we taught Match’s parents how to play shuffleboard at the bar down the street, where we’d played on our wedding night.

That night when we got home Match accidentally brushed my arm and I screamed in pain. That’s when we discovered the bruise from hell. Match finally realized what I had been whining about and felt bad for me. And worried that everyone would think he beat me! hahahaa. I just laughed because the idea of Match punching me is so freaking ridiculous. I hoped it would fade by the next morning but it was purple and ugly as ever. I covered it up with makeup somewhat, but it was still pretty ugly. People kept asking if I was in a fight. I told them they should have seen the other guy.

“Will you stop all the complaining? You’re ruining moving day for us!” Chandler, Friends

Match and I have been together 3 years this month. In that time, we have moved 4 times. It’s exhausting! We are both so ready for that day that we can say we do not have to get Moving Estimates or Local Moving quotes.

In the past we’ve moved to all relatively close places, except at the place we are now. We really should have looked into getting Long Distance Movers because taking all those cars and getting help from Match’s parents was such a pain. In all honesty, having Local Movers would have been so great for all those other moves too. Moving is just plain tough work!

I’m truly hoping that this next move will be our last for a very long time. We’re hoping to move back to Sonoma County and buy a home in September when our lease is up. How cool would that be? I hope we’re able to afford to do it. I’m ready to plant roots! We’ll be closer to Match’s parents and also to our friends. That’s where we see ourselves for the long haul, and I for one, can’t wait!

I don’t know what two guys do when they’re together. You know, I sat through the whole of Brokeback Mountain. From what I gather, something went down in that tent. -Burt, Glee

Wow, it’s Friday already? Time for another

I confess…

That as much fun as camping was earlier this week it would have been much more fun if Aunt Flow hadn’t been in town cramping my style. LITERALLY cramping people. And I forgot pain reliever. Waaahh.

I confess…

That I really wanted some tent nookie. Like really badly. The last time Match and I hooked up in a tent was our first time together. Overshare? I don’t give a hoot. This is my confession people!

I confess…

That I promised Match a camping redo where we could actually shake those tent walls. Hehehe.

I confess…

That while we were packing up stuff for the trip from Match’s folks’ house I had an awkward conversation with Match’s dad. He asked if we wanted to borrow a hanging lantern he had for the tent. He said it provides romantic lighting that is really great. He then went on to say to remember to turn the lantern off before getting too frisky or else the shadows put on a really good show. He said, “And I won’t tell you how I learned that lesson!” Thanks for the mental picture paternity Father in Law. EWWWWW. Needless to say I declined the lantern.