She’s this amazing girl one minute and then this raging jealous freak the next.-Matt, The Vampire Diaries
Today I’m checking in with my two favorite blog girl friends Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn. I really need an ear today guys. I’m struggling with a big issue in the world of Law Enforcement spouses: drama, trust and jealousy issues.
The other night I had Walking Buddy and another new deputy wife friend over for the evening. We were having a really great time visiting and hanging out with their babies. Everything was great, until one of the wives mentioned her fears about a coworker of our husbands. Her and Walking Buddy got all upset about their men even so much as talking to this coworker, and were really fired up about it. As they were talking, I felt like they were dragging me into their world of mistrust. They even tried to get me upset because she asked one of the husband’s for Match’s phone number.
Now I trust Match 100%. But you remember when I had to deal with the slutty girl who kept hanging all over Match during academy? So I’m familiar with that feeling of uncertainty. As the wives said, they trust their men completely, it’s the women they don’t trust. I am familiar with horrible women who prey on married men. But at the end of the day we have to trust our men don’t we?
I know Match loves me no matter what. Even if my weight balloons up and I’m shopping for plus size dresses at sydneyscloset, and I know he’ll only have eyes for me. In fact he’s been more than understanding of the guy friends I’ve had in the past. So I try to extend the same courtesy. He always tells me everything, and I never have to wonder if he’s holding back.
I’m just sad that I let these girls get to me, and made me have feelings of doubt that night. The next day I talked about it all with Match, and we were both pretty bummed out. I really like these girls, and I was hoping to become good girlfriends. But it’s hard to be around girls who are so insecure and cause so much drama. They don’t even want their husbands talking to girls at work, even though it’s part of their JOB. I think it’s important to have comradeship among his colleagues, and if that means female coworkers, so be it. He will have times where he has to depend on these people for his life, and I want to be sure they’re looking out for him.
I also think by getting mad at their husbands, these wives are inadvertently pushing their husbands to lie. They’re basically making them afraid to even mention female coworkers for fear of backlash. I don’t want Match to ever feel that he has to hold anything back from me. I don’t mind him having female friends as long as I remain his best friend. He also knows there are boundaries. Going to lunch one on one with the same female coworker all the time isn’t appropriate, but talking during their shift or hanging out in groups is just fine.
My way of dealing with this new girl is to invite her to our house for Match’s birthday next week. I feel that knowing someone keeps me from wondering about them, and usually puts all fears to rest. Hopefully these deputy wives won’t mind that she’s there.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you have friends who are insecure about their husbands and other females? How do you stop yourself from falling into the drama trap right along with them?
Ted: we met online. What? There’s no stigma anymore!
Robin: there’s definitely a stigma. That’s why people say, ‘there’s no stigma anymore!’ –HowI Met Your Mother
When we were driving up to Tahoe a few weeks ago with Walking Couple, they asked us how we met. Before we got married match and I would tell most people we met in a bar rather than online. We were embarrassed, which is silly. We finally got over it because why not tell people the truth? For one thing, it’s great for people to hear that dating websites free really do work. I’m no longer embarrassed of our story. In fact I think it’s kind of romantic. Out of all those women he found online, he chose me, and I him.
I still love to tease him about his profile picture and how I almost didn’t click on the email he’d sent. His picture was him with his shirt off carrying a chainsaw. He just looked like one of those egotistical tools in that picture. I later found out he was doing yard work for his parents, so that made it a little better. When I did look at the rest of his profile I saw funny pictures of him being silly and I realized he had a sense of humor. Its that goofy sense of humor that we still share today. I’m so glad I took that risk and put myself out there online. Just think of what I would be missing.
Tao: What makes a good marriage? I think patience.
Mrs. Tao: Patience. And separate bathrooms.-The Closer
We updated the lighting in our master bathroom finally! No more flickering humming fluorescent light bulbs. No more looking like death when I put on my makeup. While Match was busy trying not to punch holes in our wall out of frustration, I was working on our towel racks and toilet paper holder. I wanted everything to match the new fixture and new racks are crazy expensive. So for less than $8 I think these turned out pretty great!
Didn’t Match do an amazing job with the light fixture? I am toying with giving him welding equipment and a fancy set of tools for his birthday next month. But then again, that would just be a present for me wouldn’t it? 😉
We are going to stain the vanity an espresso color to match the fixtures and towel holder. We also want to build a frame to go around the mirror. I love the way it’s all coming together. With every little project we’re putting our mark on this house. It’s a great feeling!
I think like a South Kasnian?! Has it even entered your skull that they think like South Kasnians?! And you’d better start thinking that way, too, if you want there to be a Northerner left in this rat-infested dirt heap you call a country! All any of you mortals are good for is to slaughter one another! To fight and fight until the bones of your enemies are strewn across the battlefield, only to rise again in the next generation, like a well-tended crop! That’s what the Annihilator is for! But nooo, you’re using it to play tag!-Justice League
#1. Post these rules:
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them that you’ve tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about “you are tagged if you are reading this.” Legitimately tag 11 people!!
#2 eleven random things about myself:
1. My Virgo astrology sign fits me too well. Sometimes I wish I could be just a little more laid back.
2. I can’t go a whole day without checking my email. As far as addictions go I suppose it could be worse.
3. I have a love affair with spray paint as a decorating tool.
4. I’ve been obsessed with updating our house and checking off the to do list items.
5. I love making to do lists and checking them off. 🙂
6. I’m a sucker for cheesy YA books. My latest embarrassment-Shadowland, from the Immortals series. It’s terrible but I love it. Match makes fun of me when he reads the book jackets.
7. I’m that annoying morning person. The kind that jumps out of bed and starts singing. This pisses off Match to no end as he is NOT a morning person.
8. If I could get away with it I would wear sweatpants or nursing scrubs everywhere. I definitely prefer comfort over fashion. Please don’t think less of me.
9. I sleep nekkid or sometimes just in undies. Tshirts make me feel like I’m being slowly strangled in my sleep. I’ll learn to sleep in clothes when I have kids, I promise!
10. I DVR some really embarrassing shows, like Jane By Design and The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I love ’em like I love my YA books.
11. I swore I would never get hooked on pinterest and yet I’ve already done three crafts from pins I’ve found and I pin things at least once a day. Eep!
#3: 1. Do you have a nickname?Bug. I’ve had it since I was born. It’s an odd family nickname but I love it. 2. What is something you’ve always wanted to do, but never mustered up the courage to try? Scuba diving. I would love it but I’m claustrophobic and the mask, plus weights, plus tank = hyperventilation. I tried it twice in a pool and flipped out both times. So I guess I mustered the courage but it didn’t pan out. I don’t plan on trying again! 3. What did you want to be when you grew up? Did you go through with it?I wanted to be a dolphin trainer or work with animals. I did get my degree in Zoology, and I had a brief stint as an education guide at Marine World, where I met dolphin trainers and learned they were all stuck up and extremely arrogant. I also learned that if I wanted to work at a zoo, I would get paid barely over minimum wage and I would be a glorified poo shoveler. So I chose a different career path. Sometimes I do miss working with animals but I’m content for now with my pup. 4. Would you rather have a housekeeper or unlimited spa services? Unlimited spa services for sure. I find cleaning theraputic and it’s the #1 way I let out aggression. So I’d rather have a nice deep tissue massage from a sculpted hottie than a house keeper who might steal my spare change. 😉 5. Do you collect anything?Not really. I’m a bit of a minimalist and I don’t like a lot of knick knacks. When I was younger I loved dolphin stuff and had quite the collection of ugly ceramic dolphins *shudder*. 6. How did you name your blog? Ugh, this is a sore spot as I sometimes wish I could change it. I came up with the name because this was original my dating diary. But since I’ve been with Match for so long now, it hardly feels like a dating diary anymore. It should really be named the Married Diaries or something like that. But then I’d lose all my followers so I’ll just leave it be. 7. What is the best compliment you have ever received?It’s too hard to pick the ones Match has said to me. He’s always spouting off these awesome compliments that make me stammer and say, uhhh yeah you too. One compliment that sticks out is someone once told me I’ve very “genuine” which I loved. I strive to always be real, and it felt good that someone noticed. 8. What was your “Oh no, I’m turning into my mom/dad” moment?I haven’t had one yet but I’m sure as soon as I have kids I’ll have a lot of them! 9. What is your quirkiest habit? Probably my silly little songs and dances I do around the house. If someone walked in on me I’d be mortified. 10. Favorite 80s movie? Weird Science is pretty high up there. I must have watched that movie at least 10 times. I thought the brunette guy was cute. Don’t even ask me why. I also loved the song. Weird Science, is it reallll?
11. Name one thing you are proud you have accomplished: I’m pretty proud of all the handy work I’ve been doing around the house. I know it isn’t much, but it’s so great to look at the updated fireplace, or the newly painted bathroom fixtures and say, yes, I did that!
#4. Here are my 11 questions for those who want to play:
1. Name one of your embarrassing habits. Come on I know you have more than one, don’t even try to deny it.
2. What’s one thing you miss about being a kid?
3. Fill in the blank: I wish I knew how to ____:
4. What’s a song that could be the soundtrack to your current life?
5. Are you a saver or a spender?
6. What’s one material thing on your wish list right now?
7. Are you doing anything special for Valentine’s Day?
8. What’s your favorite all time movie?
9. What’s your favorite smell?
10. Who is your favorite stand up comedian?
11. If you’re single, do you daydream about your wedding? If you’re married, do you ever wish you could have a wedding do-over or would you just relive the day?
#5. Tag you’re it! If you feel like answering the questions, you can on your blog or in the comments. I’m not a big fan of rule following, which is why I <3 Talk to Us Tuesdays. Maybe that should be another one of my random facts-I’m a rule breaker. Ha, only in the blog world!!
This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Cafe Well for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.
When I was stuck at my boring desk job, I used to try to come up with ways to get active throughout the day. My job required me to sit for long periods of time, and it contributed to a lot of weight gain. I think if we had a program like Cafe Well my coworkers and I would have really benefited from it.
Cafe Well is a Social Network that offers corporate wellness programs that aim to get their employees fit. They have a specific program called Race to the Moon (available only to select Health American members) that motivates members to get fit by walking or rewards them for their progress. If I had a program like that at my previous job you can bet I would have taken the stairs a LOT more!
If I were still working for that company, or any company for that matter, I would want to help create a fitness challenge. For me it would be a workout challenge that I could do with my coworkers or friends. We could challenge each other to see how many steps we could take each day. This could be something as simple as parking further away from stores and walking; taking the stairs, or walking on our lunch break. Think of the possibilities!