But Sock

Robin Scherbatsky: But what about all the things we talked about?
Lily Aldrin: But… but sock!
Robin Scherbatsky: What about Marshall working all the time?
Lily Aldrin: But sock!
Robin Scherbatsky: What about Project Lily?
Lily Aldrin: It’s got little fishies on it!
Robin Scherbatsky: All this discussion, and a sock makes your decision for you? –How I Met Your Mother

It was December 30th, a Thursday. I had been feeling odd all week. I wasn’t sure if it was the remnants of the cold I’d had, or what, but I felt…different. Match took this picture at our family Christmas, and I joked around and stuck my belly out. Maybe I knew subconsciously then?

 

I promised myself I wouldn’t test this month until I was officially late. I’ve been guilty of making up symptoms and literally pissing money away on those sticks. I actually forgot about it completely and just relaxed the entire month. The night we had friends over to the house to test out our fireplace I had three beers over the course of the evening. After everyone left I curled up on the couch and kept dozing off, even though it was early for us, not even midnight. I looked at my calendar, and realized, oh wow I’m late! So I told Match I was going to bed, and headed upstairs and took a test. I’ve peed on countless sticks, but never, never has there been even the hint of a line. So when that faint line appeared, it may as well have been a flaming red banner. My hands started shaking and I rushed downstairs. Match didn’t even know I was testing, and as a joke he asked, “so is it positive?”

I ignored him and rushed to grab the gift I had been waiting nine months to give him. A set of newborn baby socks, as an inside joke from an episode of How I Met Your Mother that we are constantly quoting. He unwrapped them and said, seriously? Then he said, “Wait, you really just took a test? How did I guess that? I don’t believe you. Show me the test!”

So we rushed upstairs and looked together. “It’s positive!” I said with tears in my eyes. “It’s positive?” He asked, “That little line? Why isn’t it darker?” So I had to explain how they worked and promised to take another tomorrow to confirm.

I barely slept that night. I kept worrying that maybe it was all in my head, that I’d imagined the whole thing. There were also about a million thoughts running through my head about pregnancy in general. Fear, anxiety, guilt about those beers and the sushi from earlier in the week, excitement, overwhelming joy. That morning I jumped out of bed and took another test. This one was a lot less ambiguous.

Then Match started getting more excited, but he was scared too. Since then I’ve peed on one more stick, on January 1st. This one became positive almost the second I put it down, and there’s no denying that line.

I’m almost 2 months pregnant (a little over 7 weeks…oh how I loathe the week counting) and it’s still a little early to be blogging about it. But we heard the heartbeat from the doctor, and well,I just couldn’t stand not blogging about it. This is my diary and it’s all I’ve wanted to write about for weeks!

 We struggled with what to nickname our baby to be. Match came up with Roo, because I’m carrying around this little one in my “pouch”. It makes me smile because I think of Kanga and Roo from Winnie the Pooh. It still doesn’t feel real. Match and I are going to be parents. I’m going to be a mama. I can’t wait to meet you Roo!!

The House Wish List

There are so many things I would love to get for our house. With the sunny weather we’ve been having, I’ve been doing a little yard work and the wish list items keep piling up. I would love to get a nice outdoor thermometer, like the cool digital ones they have at Sharper Image. I would love to line the back fence with feather grass, similar to this:

and a rock path to a little sitting area in the back of the yard. Right now our yard looks like this:

It’s a major work in progress, but I think we’ll have fun making it our own.

Talk to Us Tuesday-Deputy Wives and Drama

She’s this amazing girl one minute and then this raging jealous freak the next.-Matt, The Vampire Diaries

Today I’m checking in with my two favorite blog girl friends Impulsive Addict and Seriously Shawn. I really need an ear today guys. I’m struggling with a big issue in the world of Law Enforcement spouses: drama, trust and jealousy issues.

The other night I had Walking Buddy and another new deputy wife friend over for the evening. We were having a really great time visiting and hanging out with their babies. Everything was great, until one of the wives mentioned her fears about a coworker of our husbands. Her and Walking Buddy got all upset about their men even so much as talking to this coworker, and were really fired up about it. As they were talking, I felt like they were dragging me into their world of mistrust. They even tried to get me upset because she asked one of the husband’s for Match’s phone number.

Now I trust Match 100%. But you remember when I had to deal with the slutty girl who kept hanging all over Match during academy? So I’m familiar with that feeling of uncertainty. As the wives said, they trust their men completely, it’s the women they don’t trust. I am familiar with horrible women who prey on married men. But at the end of the day we have to trust our men don’t we?

I know Match loves me no matter what. Even if my weight balloons up and I’m shopping for plus size dresses at sydneyscloset, and I know he’ll only have eyes for me. In fact he’s been more than understanding of the guy friends I’ve had in the past. So I try to extend the same courtesy. He always tells me everything, and I never have to wonder if he’s holding back.

I’m just sad that I let these girls get to me, and made me have feelings of doubt that night. The next day I talked about it all with Match, and we were both pretty bummed out. I really like these girls, and I was hoping to become good girlfriends. But it’s hard to be around girls who are so insecure and cause so much drama. They don’t even want their husbands talking to girls at work, even though it’s part of their JOB. I think it’s important to have comradeship among his colleagues, and if that means female coworkers, so be it. He will have times where he has to depend on these people for his life, and I want to be sure they’re looking out for him.

I also think by getting mad at their husbands, these wives are inadvertently pushing their husbands to lie. They’re basically making them afraid to even mention female coworkers for fear of backlash. I don’t want Match to ever feel that he has to hold anything back from me. I don’t mind him having female friends as long as I remain his best friend. He also knows there are boundaries. Going to lunch one on one with the same female coworker all the time isn’t appropriate, but talking during their shift or hanging out in groups is just fine.

My way of dealing with this new girl is to invite her to our house for Match’s birthday next week. I feel that knowing someone keeps me from wondering about them, and usually puts all fears to rest. Hopefully these deputy wives won’t mind that she’s there.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you have friends who are insecure about their husbands and other females? How do you stop yourself from falling into the drama trap right along with them?

On Meeting Match

Ted: we met online. What? There’s no stigma anymore!
Robin: there’s definitely a stigma. That’s why people say, ‘there’s no stigma anymore!’ –How I Met Your Mother

When we were driving up to Tahoe a few weeks ago with Walking Couple, they asked us how we met. Before we got married match and I would tell most people we met in a bar rather than online. We were embarrassed, which is silly. We finally got over it because why not tell people the truth? For one thing, it’s great for people to hear that dating websites free really do work. I’m no longer embarrassed of our story. In fact I think it’s kind of romantic. Out of all those women he found online, he chose me, and I him.

I still love to tease him about his profile picture and how I almost didn’t click on the email he’d sent. His picture was him with his shirt off carrying a chainsaw. He just looked like one of those egotistical tools in that picture. I later found out he was doing yard work for his parents, so that made it a little better. When I did look at the rest of his profile I saw funny pictures of him being silly and I realized he had a sense of humor. Its that goofy sense of humor that we still share today. I’m so glad I took that risk and put myself out there online. Just think of what I would be missing.

Masterbath Updates and More Spraypaint

Tao: What makes a good marriage? I think patience.
Mrs. Tao: Patience. And separate bathrooms.-The Closer

We updated the lighting in our master bathroom finally! No more flickering humming fluorescent light bulbs. No more looking like death when I put on my makeup. While Match was busy trying not to punch holes in our wall out of frustration, I was working on our towel racks and toilet paper holder. I wanted everything to match the new fixture and new racks are crazy expensive. So for less than $8 I think these turned out pretty great!

Didn’t Match do an amazing job with the light fixture? I am toying with giving him welding equipment and a fancy set of tools for his birthday next month. But then again, that would just be a present for me wouldn’t it? 😉

We are going to stain the vanity an espresso color to match the fixtures and towel holder. We also want to build a frame to go around the mirror. I love the way it’s all coming together. With every little project we’re putting our mark on this house. It’s a great feeling!