Match’s swearing in ceremony for our city police department was today. I made the epic fail of forgetting our good camera. The only camera my in-laws had was their Iphone, so all of the photos of me pinning Match’s badge, and of him hugging me, and giving me this amazing spontaneous kiss on stage are all completely blurry. See?
I’m super bummed that I don’t have a photo to remember it. Regardless, it’s one of those moments that will stick with me forever. Me whispering how proud I am of him, and him pulling me in for an embrace that said it all.
Here are some photos that did turn out, even though they’re slightly grainy. Doesn’t he look good in blue? Piglet was super excited about Daddy’s new uniform, and all of his “toys” to play with. Good thing the radio wasn’t on!
We got the chance to meet many of Match’s new coworkers, as well as the chief of police. He personally introduced himself to me, and said how happy he is to have Match on board, and welcomed me into the family.
Being a part of a smaller force really does feel like family. At Match’s previous job, the agency was huge, and it was easy to get lost in the crowd. Here they put family first, and the warm reception as well as the chief’s speech, really emphasized that. It is an honor for us to be a part of this community, and I am so excited for Match and this new chapter of our lives.
Today I am simultaneously happy and sad. I apologize in advance for the long rant, but I need to get this off my chest. Match had his final interview with our local police department, and I’m thrilled to announce that he was given a verbal job offer! They still have to present him to the city council for approval, but the chief is hoping to get him hired on by April 1st. This is absolutely the best news for our family, and for Match’s career as an officer. When we were first house hunting, and fell in love with our town, we talked about him one day working for the department. We always thought it wouldn’t happen for at least another 10 years, but here we are!
The sad part is how Match’s family reacted to the news. His mother didn’t even try to be excited or happy for him. The first thing she asked was, “So what does this mean for your sister’s wedding?” He tried to explain that since everything is in limbo, he can’t up and leave for a destination wedding in Mexico. He has to be available for the final stages of the hiring process, not to mention putting in his two weeks notice to his current department, plus all the mental job preparation needed for starting field training. He tried to explain this to her, just as he had months ago when his sister first mentioned wanting a destination wedding. He had warned her then that the odds that he could come would be slim to none, but that he would try. His mother knew all of this, and still her only response was, “Well I’m glad it worked out the way you wanted it to.” As if he wanted to miss his sister’s wedding, and cause drama with the family. Anyone who knows my husband at all, knows that he is a people pleaser. He has spent his entire life letting his mom walk all over him, even resisted joining the military because his parents were adamantly opposed. It was a decision he regrets to this day.
I understand that she is sad he can’t make it to the wedding. We’re both sad that we can’t be there, but we’re also frustrated that she chose a destination wedding in the first place. While we understand that it’s her day, and she can do whatever she and her groom want, the bottom line is that a destination wedding is selfish, because so many people cannot attend. She knew about Match’s job, and that he was applying to other agencies, and yet she threw a fit when he said he would probably not be able to go to her wedding if she decided to have it in Mexico. Not only that, but we can’t afford for our family to go, not that I had any desire to do baby wrangling on a plane for 5 hours, plus deal with sleep deprivation and the possibility of getting the poops from the water, but I digress. We knew for months that Piglet and I would not be attending the wedding, even if Match could go, and we were pretty bummed about the whole thing. Match and I were looking forward to dancing at her wedding, and falling in love all over again, like we do at weddings.
Even so, with all of this warning, and with Match telling his sister that he was so sorry, that we would come visit with them at a different time, and take them out for dinner to celebrate their love, she still pouted, and so did the Mother-in-law, even more so. She just couldn’t see how Match couldn’t ask the new job for the time off. She forgets all the time that law enforcement isn’t like a regular job. You can’t just ask for time off and get it, especially when you’re a trainee. She forgets that we changed the date of our own wedding when he was accepted into the academy. If he couldn’t get his own wedding date off, what in God’s name makes her think he could do it for his sister’s wedding?
I’m deeply saddened by their lack of support, and their short sighted vision. Match tried discussing it with his dad, who just seemed apathetic about the whole thing. I’m so disappointed in my mother in law for being so immature, and not setting aside her disappointment long enough to be PROUD of her son. He has worked so hard to get here, and the least she could do was be happy for him and the life he has created. As much as we understand that weddings are important, it is ONE day. This is his career, and she has chosen career over family countless times, but can’t understand when he does it. This is the same woman who won’t take time out of her busy work schedule to visit her only grandson. Who makes excuse after excuse when it comes to spending time with him, and has been an absolute shit grandmother. I’m livid because she asks the world from her son, but she won’t budge in return. It is all I can do not to call her up and berate her for bursting Match’s happy bubble. He went from overjoyed to depressed in an instant, and said that he has no support from his family.
His parents have never been supportive of his career, and in fact tried to talk him out of it, just like they did with the military path when he was younger. This time, he chose his own path, but it definitely was not without resistance from them. As much as this career scares me at times, I feel that I’ve always been supportive, because that’s what you do for the people you love. You don’t force them to be the way you wish them to be.
Well, he has me, he has our son, and my parents are incredibly supportive of his career. His parents, his sister, they have never tried to understand what it means to be a law enforcement officer. What it means to miss out on holidays, deal with mandatory over time, constantly putting his life on the line, always being late home from work, and the incredible stress he is under on any given day.
All these things I wish to scream at her, but instead I pity her. Because by responding this way, she is just pushing herself further away from her son. She is already missing out on her grandson, and it’s clear she’s missing out on knowing her son as well. I hope that one day his family can forgive Match for not attending his sister’s wedding. I also hope they can one day come around to his career, and understand and respect what he’s chosen to do. It is a life full of sacrifice, and one that is not for everyone.
Virginia: All college guys cheat when they’re in a long distance relationship. Why do you think I didn’t let your dad go off to college?
Jimmy: ‘Cuz he didn’t graduate high school?
Virginia: For your information, there are universities that advertise on late night television that are willing to overlook that. –Raising Hope
Saturday night Match and I hung out with a bunch of his deputy friends from work. Our first stop was dinner with one of our couple friends (We have so many couple friends now that it’s hard to keep thinking up nicknames!). It was her birthday so we went out to celebrate. I was on day 2 of a brutal cold that my dear hubby shared with me, so I wasn’t able to cuddle with the babies like I usually do. It was torture not being able to pick them up! I enjoyed our mellow evening with them, and would have stayed there longer, but we had a goodbye party for another coworker of Match’s later that night.
That group was a little more rowdy. We had fun drinking beers and joking around with them. I’ve never met that particular group, and it was nice to get to know the people Match spends a lot of his working hours with. I was getting along great with them all, when I noticed the female deputy was getting really cozy with the guy who was transferring departments. At one point I saw him put his hand on her thigh, and he was sitting awfully close. Earlier, she had been telling us about her husband, who wasn’t there that night. The guy also had a girlfriend, but from what he mentioned, it sounded like they were on the rocks. Either way, it didn’t sit well with me watching those two cozy up, knowing one was married, and the other in a committed relationship.
When we were alone for a minute, I told Match what I had seen. I felt bad, because I knew these were his coworkers that he really liked and respected. I liked them too, at first, but I’m not down to keep company with people who cheat. It’s really too bad, because she was one of the first female deputies who I thought was pretty cool at first. Match said he was disappointed as well, because as coworkers, he respects them both, but it is hard for him to respect them as individuals, knowing they’re cheating on their significant others. We both hoped we were wrong about what we were seeing, but as the night went on, there was a lot of leaning, and close talking, that seemed a lot more than friendly behavior.
Have you ever witnessed something like that? It was a first for me, and it made me super uncomfortable. I’m glad that the couples we are close to aren’t like that, and that Match was as bothered by it as I was. I couldn’t help but be glad that the guy was leaving the department, and the female deputy was on a different shift than Match. Not because I don’t trust him 100%, but because I think that cheaters are sneaky people. And if a person is willing to be sneaky and to hurt the person they’re supposed to be closest to, what does that say about their ethics in general? I don’t like the idea of Match working with people he can’t trust.
Trish: [sniffing] Do you smell that? Marshall: No. Trish: Smells like there’s a little bitch in my gym. Are you being a little bitch in my gym? Marshall: No. Trish: Then get on the floor and give me a hundred!-How I Met Your Mother
First off I can’t believe I didn’t post for a whole week. Holy crow that’s a long time for me. I was caught up with a busy whirlwind week and weekend.
I’ve started working out again and instead of spending my days inside, I’ve been lacing up my running shoes and hitting the pavement. I can’t tell you how DAMN GOOD it feels to exercise again. I’m starting to get my body back, and I feel more like myself than I have in months. This past week has been the first week I could jog without pain in my lower abdomen/uterus, and it felt so so good to get back out there.
My goal is to get in the best shape I possibly can before we start trying for our next baby. I want to have a strong, healthy core. The endorphin kick I get doesn’t hurt either. I do not want to have to worry about having to get a tummy tuck to fix the stomach area.
This past Friday Match and I went to watch his fellow SERT team members (Sheriff Emergency Response Team) compete in a competition against other SERT team members from different departments. Match was sad that he couldn’t compete, but because he’d missed so many practices because of bereavement, he couldn’t participate. I could tell it was killing him. Hopefully next year!
It was really exciting to watch them compete, and I was blown away by the women on the teams. Here they were, doing the exact same events as the men, and some were outdoing them. These women are seriously hardcore. I’m totally inspired to kick up my workouts a notch. If they can scale 8 foot walls, run, lift super heavy steel pipes, and go through obstacle courses, then I can make it through my 10 min ab workout video. NO EXCUSES!
I don’t want to have to worry about looking at liposuction down the road. I know liposuction prices can vary, but I’d rather go without it if I can help it!
The weekend went by way too fast. Match only really had one day off, since he was busy helping out with the SERT team all Friday. Saturday was spent snuggling on the couch and relaxing.
Sunday I had a down day. One where I woke up so sad and missing Roo so much it made my chest ache. My solution for days like this is to head to yard work. You’d be amazed at how therapeutic pulling on stubborn weeds can be. I also mowed the lawn. I’ve never operated a lawn mower. I may have missed a few spots, but I was pretty proud of myself.
Yesterday I got to spend the day with Good Wife and her 15 week old twin boys. I went with them to check out a home they’re hoping to rent in their hometown, about an hour and a half from us. They are so much cuteness, but so much work! I don’t know how she does it every day. When one stopped crying, the other would start! I had fun being mommy’s helper. It was so nice holding sweet snuggly babies all day.
When we got back, Match was awake and helped out with a feeding. Now isn’t this just a precious sight? He’s a total natural.
So what’s new with you? Are you taking advantage of that beautiful sunshine and getting out of the house too?
Junior: The Skunk Scouts are like a second family to me; a family that all wear the same clothes. Brendon: Well I would have to be like ultimate skunk commander or something. Junior: Oh you have to earn that. You see this badge, I got this badge for earning that badge. –Home Movies
Last night we hung out with a bunch of the deputies from Match’s shift. So far I have only met his corecruits that he went to academy with. A lot of these guys have been in the force for awhile, and there was another couple that are newer to this life than we are.
We met up at a pizza restaurant where the waiter seemed overwhelmed by the restaurant’s Aldelo System . Walking Buddy and her hubby were there, along with their two sweet boys. We met another couple, who also live in our town, and we clicked right away. Match and I were fighting colds, but we still managed to have fun. I also got to snuggle Walking Buddy’s youngest, who kept trying to head butt me. He’s such a little cutie. I really hope I didn’t get him sick. I don’t think so because I was already showing symptoms, so I’m pretty sure I wasn’t contagious (I hope!!)
I’m looking forward to getting together with this group when we’re both feeling 100%. I love that this group is so close. Apparently they get together for dinner quite a bit. I’m excited to be making more friends in the LEO life. It’s so nice to hang out with wives that understand that my husband isn’t always around, and know what it’s like to have him working on the holidays. I’m looking forward to a lot more dinners with this crew. It’s true that Match’s fellow officers really do become like a second family, and I am honored to be a part of it.