We can’t compete with a bunch of cars. Wheels are like bosoms to men… and a car has four. -Kitty, That 70s Show

This past weekend was spent pretty much doing nothing. Both Match and I were sick, which zapped every bit of energy we had. That didn’t stop me from going a little bit stir crazy.  I spent some time scrapbooking my new life with Match. I’ve already filled up an entire album and I’m not even into October with it! As fun as it was to reflect on our relationship up to now, it was also a bit depressing, because it reminded me of how active we normally are, and how sedentary this stupid cold had made us both.To top that off Match had become completely obsessed with buying a Subaru WRX. (more…)

Kelly: I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It’s going to grow up to three feet inside of  me and then it eats all my food so that I don’t get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It’s from Mexico.

[cuts to Creed in an interview]

Creed: That wasn’t a tapeworm.                        -The Office

I’ve kind of wondered about this for a long time. It seems like when us women get cozy and comfortable, and when we’re happy, a trigger goes off in our body saying bring on the cellulite! I wonder if it’s biology saying put on weight it’s time to make babies, or if it’s just that we’re not as busy? I do know I eat more with Match than I did when I was alone, because seriously, who wants to cook for one?

(more…)

People say ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break-up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a ‘Goodbye,’ But, apparently, women have to either get married or learn something. Why are we in such a rush to move from confused to Confucius? Do we search for lessons to lessen the pain? -Carrie, Sex and the City

We’ve finally reached the beginning of my past relationships. This is an entry about my first real love, my first real “adult” relationship, and also the longest relationship I have ever had (except for Match hopefully). We dated for 2 years, almost to the day, and trying to condense this into one blog is going to be a challenge. Trying to describe how I felt about my first heartbreak might prove to be even harder.

It was the summer of my freshman year at San Francisco State University, and I was sick of men. I had a really crazy freshman year full of drunk hookups, one night stands, and guys who didn’t know the meaning of the word hell no! I briefly dated a boy second semester, but we were more friends than anything, and we spent half our blurred 3 month relationship yelling and screaming at each other in my dorm room. We broke up when school got out and I swore off men. I had the bright idea of taking summer school, so I was completely stressed out. I decided to make the hour and a half trek to visit my extended family in Napa for the 4th of July. I wanted nothing to do with guys so when my cousin had the bright idea to set me up with her boyfriend’s friend I wanted no part in it. Still, Mr. Deeds was out, and I couldn’t wait to see it, so I grudgingly agreed to meet the friend. That’s when he pulled up in his 99 Mustang GT, complete with a custom flame paint job and I couldn’t stop myself from cracking jokes. That’s when Flame Boy rolled down the window.

(more…)