Match and the Military

We enter the world alone and we leave it alone. And everything that happens in between, we owe it to our self to find a little company. We need help. We need support. Otherwise we’re in it by our self. Strangers, cut off from each other and we forget just how connect we all are. So instead we choose love. We choose life and for a moment we feel just a little bit less alone. –Grey’s Anatomy

Match and I had our first really hard discussion as an engaged couple this past week. You remember I told you Match got a new job right before our trip to Oregon? Well, they told him he had to get his gaming license to become a security guard/emt at the casino he was hired at. That meant an extensive background check. They said it would be about 3 weeks to complete, and here it is well over 3 weeks and still no start date. Match has become really anxious being stuck at home all the time, and more and more depressed and worried about money. Continue reading Match and the Military

New Moon Double Date

With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I followed [Edward] into the forest. The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over. Love, life, meaning… over. -Bella, New Moon

Only 4 more days! The premiere of New Moon! This was my least favorite book of the series, but I’m still excited to see it, because that means we’re that much closer to my favorite book, Eclipse! Can you tell I’m excited? Match and I are meeting up with Outdoor Couple for a double date to see the premiere on opening night. I’ve never gone to a movie on opening night, and I know it’s going to be insanely crowded, but it’s going to be so worth it to see Edward on the big screen. 🙂 Continue reading New Moon Double Date

Travel Girl Visits

Blanche: What a waste, Rose Nylund in New York!
Rose: [to Dorothy] It’s going to be a great trip, you wait and see. You’re going to be cured, and I’m going to get to see the Big Potato!
[Blanche gives Dorothy a “See?” look]
Dorothy: I said she was comforting, I didn’t say she was smart. –Golden Girls

img_5807This past week Travel Girl, Match’s sister, was in town visiting from Peru. We spent the majority of our time at Match’s parents spending time with his sis and the fam, and also their newest addition to the family, an adorable standard poodle puppy.

Continue reading Travel Girl Visits

Marriage-An Outdated Institution?

Lisa: I wonder why Mom and Dad are doing marriage counseling. If you listen closely, you can here them arguing now. (they then listen closely)
Homer (in distance): And I say a monkey can mow our lawn! –The Simpsons

Coast Sister sent me this link to an article, written by a bitter divorcee, and it got me so fired up I had to blog about it. The article, written by Sandra Tsing Loh, basically denounces marriage as outdated and useless in today’s world.

I think what bothers me the most is how Sandra feels it’s not worth it to work on a relationship. When you’ve been together with someone for a long time, you have to make time for each other, reignite that spark. It’s work, but anything worthwhile is going to take a little effort.

On the one hand, I do think that there are times divorce is necessary. I’m a child of divorce, and I can tell you, had my parents stayed together I would have been begging for them to separate. But before it comes to that big D, you have to try to make things work. In the article Sandra talks about her girlfriend who is also contemplating divorce. She says her husband won’t sleep with her anymore because she’s gained so much weight. She binge eats because he won’t sleep with her. Both husband and wife should have started communicating when this first happened. Go to counseling, figure out the problem, seek a solution. Don’t just stick your head in the sand, shrug and say, this is my life and it sucks.  You break out the Kettlebell and start working out, if nothing to feel better about yourself. Then you communicate with your husband and say the reasons you’ve gained weight is because you don’t feel wanted anymore. You talk to each other, what a novel concept!

Match and I discussed it and we both agree that divorce should be the very last resort. It just bothers me that in some ways our society is so throw away, so disposable. Even marriage to some people isn’t “til death do us part”. Instead it has become, “until it becomes inconvenient”. I think this attitude roles over into work ethic, parenting, et cetera. It’s just a bad way of thinking in general.

I know that when it comes my time to say I do, I will make sure I know my partner, and know that we will work. It’s not a decision I will take lightly, because I don’t want to end up in that percentale of the divorced and bitter. So what about you readers? Do you believe in marriage?

Missing Close Friendships

Did you ever once show me any friendship? Ever ask my help in a personal problem? Include me in one of your little bull sessions? Can you imagine how it feels to walk by this tent and… (She gasps and breaks down)…hear your laughter and know that I’m not welcome? When did one of you ever even offer me a lousy cup of coffee?! -Margaret, M*A*S*H

Last night I offered to cook dinner for Couple Friends. I had this idea in my head that they would come over to our place and have dinner, maybe play games or just drink wine and talk. Couple Hubby and Match decided they wanted to watch the Nascar race that CH had recorded the day before on his DVR. So dinner got moved to Couple Friends’ house. I thought it would still be a good time, because Couple Wife and I could gab in the kitchen while the men watched sports. I was really looking forward to a girl’s chat, and had been really needing one for the past few weeks. Little did I know that my innocent offer to cook would make me Kitchen Slave while Couple Friends and Match relaxed on the couch watching the race.

I tried not to be bummed, but I couldn’t help feeling left out while they sat there relaxing and I was slaving away in the kitchen. Match even came into the kitchen a few times to give me kisses and ask how I was doing. He could tell I was a bit let down, but he couldn’t fix it. What was I supposed to do? Demand that CW come hang out with me? I knew that would be juvenile. Still, I guess I just hoped that since we hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks that she would want to.  I called Coast Sister the next day to tell her about it, because I knew she would understand. We’re a lot alike, and if it had been us having a friend cook in our house, we’d be in the kitchen asking if we could help. In her defense, CW did offer to help, but she did so with a half heartedness that suggested she just wanted to stay where she was. I don’t blame her in a way, it is nice to have someone do all the work, and she’s a new mom, and probably tired most of the time. I can’t pretend to know what that’s like. Still, I couldn’t help being a little let down by the evening.

At work today, I started thinking about how even though Couple Wife is always so friendly, she rarely goes out of her way to invite me to anything. Back in October, both Match and I were both anticipating Halloween invitations to different parties, and hoping to hang out with Couple Friends. As some of my faithful readers know, we were never invited. Then Christmas and New Years came and went without an invitation to the many parties they frequented.  Then there are the few times I’ve asked her to go on walks, or go for a cup of coffee. She does so, but I just wish it was reciprocated sometimes. I know she has a lot of friends, and sometimes I get the feeling she just doesn’t have room for anymore, at least not on a closer level.

I miss my Coast Sister and I’m so grateful she’s available via IMs, texts, and phone calls. Still, it would be so nice if she lived in the same town. I miss Reality Check at times, the old RC who I could talk to and laugh with, or just go on a walk with. I miss Brazil, who is now in total Mommy mode (I know she’ll come around eventually, but let’s face it, she’s a mom, she’s changed). I miss Personality Twin and her crazy stories. Maybe I just need to make a visit out to the East Coast to see CS. If only I had the vacation time! And maybe I just need to give Couple Wife time. Maybe like me she’s been burned by friends so she takes awhile to let someone get close. And maybe like Match said, she just had an off day. All I know is I am going to let her be the one to invite me to do something next. If she never does, well then I guess I have my answer eh?

How about you girls? Do any of you have trouble maintaining close girl friendships? Why does it seem to be harder the older we get?