Deputies and Cheaters

Virginia: All college guys cheat when they’re in a long distance relationship. Why do you think I didn’t let your dad go off to college?
Jimmy: ‘Cuz he didn’t graduate high school?
Virginia: For your information, there are universities that advertise on late night television that are willing to overlook that. –Raising Hope

Saturday night Match and I hung out with a bunch of his deputy friends from work. Our first stop was dinner with one of our couple friends (We have so many couple friends now that it’s hard to keep thinking up nicknames!). It was her birthday so we went out to celebrate. I was on day 2 of a brutal cold that my dear hubby shared with me, so I wasn’t able to cuddle with the babies like I usually do. It was torture not being able to pick them up! I enjoyed our mellow evening with them, and would have stayed there longer, but we had a goodbye party for another coworker of Match’s later that night.

That group was a little more rowdy. We had fun drinking beers and joking around with them. I’ve never met that particular group, and it was nice to get to know the people Match spends a lot of his working hours with. I was getting along great with them all, when I noticed the female deputy was getting really cozy with the guy who was transferring departments. At one point I saw him put his hand on her thigh, and he was sitting awfully close. Earlier, she had been telling us about her husband, who wasn’t there that night. The guy also had a girlfriend, but from what he mentioned, it sounded like they were on the rocks. Either way, it didn’t sit well with me watching those two cozy up, knowing one was married, and the other in a committed relationship.

When we were alone for a minute, I told Match what I had seen. I felt bad, because I knew these were his coworkers that he really liked and respected. I liked them too, at first, but I’m not down to keep company with people who cheat. It’s really too bad, because she was one of the first female deputies who I thought was pretty cool at first. Match said he was disappointed as well, because as coworkers, he respects them both, but it is hard for him to respect them as individuals, knowing they’re cheating on their significant others. We both hoped we were wrong about what we were seeing, but as the night went on, there was a lot of leaning, and close talking, that seemed a lot more than friendly behavior.

Have you ever witnessed something like that? It was a first for me, and it made me super uncomfortable. I’m glad that the couples we are close to aren’t like that, and that Match was as bothered by it as I was. I couldn’t help but be glad that the guy was leaving the department, and the female deputy was on a different shift than Match. Not because I don’t trust him 100%, but because I think that cheaters are sneaky people. And if a person is willing to be sneaky and to hurt the person they’re supposed to be closest to, what does that say about their ethics in general? I don’t like the idea of Match working with people he can’t trust.



    Ugh, that makes my skin crawl. 🙁 What an uncomfortable position to be in. I know exactly what you mean by you trust him 100%, but not the cheaters. Sorry you have to deal with that!


    I have never encountered that or never seen it I should say as I definitely know many people were someone cheated. And yes, I would not want Eric to work with her either.


    Geesh, that is beyond tacky and disrespectful. I feel sorry for their other half’s that weren’t there and how they put everyone in that room in a position to just turn the other cheek. If it were my husband acting that way or boyfriend, I would want to know but people tend to just want to stay out of it. I’m glad they aren’t going to be around Match. I really think having good influences around are key and to kick those others to the curb. BOO!


    I’ve never witnessed anything like that, myself- thank goodness! I’d be freaked out, too. Hopefully it was just a situation of too many drinks and a little boundary-pushing? :/


    I have seen that kind of behavior and it makes me extremely sad.
    And even if they aren’t “hooking up” they were behaving inappropriately and I, as one of their significant others, would have been pissed!

    Sarah Kate

    Yikes. Tricky situation. How uncomfortable for everyone else to have to watch that knowing it was inappropriate.

    You know how I mentioned I had let go of a couple friends? One has been a best friend of mine for 7 years. And she is a cheater. She’s never been married, but as soon as she’s been in a relationship for 3+ months, she starts cheating. I think she gets bored, and the cheating is her way of bringing excitement back into her life. It sucks for me every time because I meet her boyfriends and get to know them and like them. But then I know she’s running around behind their backs. I’ve never said a word to the boys, but I tried for a couple years to get her to see what she was doing. It didn’t work, and I gave up. Some people will just never learn.


    wow. that whole situation makes me sick to my stomach. especially since i’ve been on the other end of the equation. you are lucky to have someone that you trust 100%. be thankful.


    So disappointing. The older I get, the more my pesky morals get in the way… It really makes you think.

    I realize that people are going to cheat. It’s wrong in every way. However, IF you are going to do it, you don’t display it in front of other people. Geez.

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