Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman’s uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like [snaps fingers] that.-Friends
Wednesday was my hysteroscopy. I was so nervous when I got to the doctor’s office. My hands wouldn’t stop sweating, wouldn’t stop shaking. I was so nervous I couldn’t even pee for the urine sample! If you know anything about me and my tiny bladder, you know this was a big deal.
The procedure itself was pretty painful. Just know when a doctor tells you there will be “slight discomfort” it means it will hurt like a BITCH. At one point I was wishing I’d signed up for online life insurance because I was convinced I was going to die. The worst part was when the CO2 gas they pumped into my uterus caused extreme nerve pain. It felt just like my back labor. All of the pain was centered into my back.
I was distracted by my awesome team. My OB is really personable, and my nurse is hilarious. They kept me pretty distracted, and then once the camera was inserted, I was fixated on my uterus. “It’s not everyday you can say you looked at the inside of your uterus” my OB joked. I told her how I’m a bit of a science nerd, and I’d been researching pictures of uterine abnormalities. So when the camera passed over it, I recognized it for what it was. “Is that a septum?” I asked her. “You are a science nerd!” She’d replied. She couldn’t confirm it with absolute certainty, but she said she was fairly certain that’s exactly what I have.
She attempted to do another type of hysteroscopy, where they insert saline into the uterus to get a clearer image. By that time my pesky bladder decides now is the time to be full, so it was causing pain. The saline was also super painful, as was the pain of the gas leaving my body. It causes shoulder pain and pinching, and the cramping in my uterus and bajingo were intense. So finally, when I was whimpering with tears streaming down my face, she called it a day. She referred me to a specialist, and said she’s pretty sure he will agree with her findings.
So what does all of this mean? Well, it means potential answers. My doctor’s theory is that my placenta attached to the uterine septum, and didn’t get a proper hold. This eventually caused a gradual placental tear as Roo got bigger. It would explain the bleeding and then ultimately the preterm labor. If I do have the septum, then a simple surgery could remove it. I’ve been reading up on this uterine abnormality, and the success rate of the surgery is really encouraging. Many women go on to have NORMAL pregnancies. How amazing would that be?
I came home to a yummy homecooked meal from Match. He had prescription motrin ready for me, and my comfiest pajamas and gave me backrubs while I complained of the residual cramping pain. We talked about the doctor’s findings, and the ray of hope it has given us.
This hope is of course bittersweet. If only we could have found about this before Roo, then maybe I’d still be pregnant. But the truth is most uterine septums aren’t ever detected until after a pregnancy loss. So maybe Roo’s purpose was to help us learn about my abnormal uterus, so that her future siblings can be born. I like to think that she was happy to help.