Robin Scherbatsky: But what about all the things we talked about?
Lily Aldrin: But… but sock!
Robin Scherbatsky: What about Marshall working all the time?
Lily Aldrin: But sock!
Robin Scherbatsky: What about Project Lily?
Lily Aldrin: It’s got little fishies on it!
Robin Scherbatsky: All this discussion, and a sock makes your decision for you? –How I Met Your Mother
It was December 30th, a Thursday. I had been feeling odd all week. I wasn’t sure if it was the remnants of the cold I’d had, or what, but I felt…different. Match took this picture at our family Christmas, and I joked around and stuck my belly out. Maybe I knew subconsciously then?
I promised myself I wouldn’t test this month until I was officially late. I’ve been guilty of making up symptoms and literally pissing money away on those sticks. I actually forgot about it completely and just relaxed the entire month. The night we had friends over to the house to test out our fireplace I had three beers over the course of the evening. After everyone left I curled up on the couch and kept dozing off, even though it was early for us, not even midnight. I looked at my calendar, and realized, oh wow I’m late! So I told Match I was going to bed, and headed upstairs and took a test. I’ve peed on countless sticks, but never, never has there been even the hint of a line. So when that faint line appeared, it may as well have been a flaming red banner. My hands started shaking and I rushed downstairs. Match didn’t even know I was testing, and as a joke he asked, “so is it positive?”
I ignored him and rushed to grab the gift I had been waiting nine months to give him. A set of newborn baby socks, as an inside joke from an episode of How I Met Your Mother that we are constantly quoting. He unwrapped them and said, seriously? Then he said, “Wait, you really just took a test? How did I guess that? I don’t believe you. Show me the test!”
So we rushed upstairs and looked together. “It’s positive!” I said with tears in my eyes. “It’s positive?” He asked, “That little line? Why isn’t it darker?” So I had to explain how they worked and promised to take another tomorrow to confirm.
I barely slept that night. I kept worrying that maybe it was all in my head, that I’d imagined the whole thing. There were also about a million thoughts running through my head about pregnancy in general. Fear, anxiety, guilt about those beers and the sushi from earlier in the week, excitement, overwhelming joy. That morning I jumped out of bed and took another test. This one was a lot less ambiguous.
Then Match started getting more excited, but he was scared too. Since then I’ve peed on one more stick, on January 1st. This one became positive almost the second I put it down, and there’s no denying that line.
I’m almost 2 months pregnant (a little over 7 weeks…oh how I loathe the week counting) and it’s still a little early to be blogging about it. But we heard the heartbeat from the doctor, and well,I just couldn’t stand not blogging about it. This is my diary and it’s all I’ve wanted to write about for weeks!
We struggled with what to nickname our baby to be. Match came up with Roo, because I’m carrying around this little one in my “pouch”. It makes me smile because I think of Kanga and Roo from Winnie the Pooh. It still doesn’t feel real. Match and I are going to be parents. I’m going to be a mama. I can’t wait to meet you Roo!!