Don’t Hang on Married Men

[Jenkins has just apologized to Lily at MacLaren’s for kissing Marshall. Lily is gradually taking off her scarf and earrings.]
Jenkins: For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. [Lily suddenly punches her right in the face. Jenkins lies crumpled on the floor]
Lily: Kiss my husband? MY HUSBAND?!?! Nobody kisses my future baby daddy but me!!! [proceeds to pummel Jenkins while Marshall tries to get closer]
Barney: [trying to take picture of fight] Marshall, you’re blocking the shot! –How I Met Your Mother

Last night Match and I met up with a bunch of the recruits over at Sassy Couple’s house for dinner and drinks. We had a great time and I got the chance to meet another recruit’s girlfriend and another recruit Wife.

Sassy didn’t really warm up that much even though we were on her turf, but I saw that she acted the same towards the other girls as she had towards me. I’ve decided she’s just a little shy and she’ll warm up over time. If not, that’s ok too. I really clicked with the other recruit wife, Good Girl. I’m nicknaming her that because she and her husband don’t drink and they just looked so darn wholesome. We talked about books and discovered we both love Harry Potter and Twilight. She’s new to the area too and hasn’t made a lot of friends. At the mention of Twilight she looked at Good Guy and said, “I love her!” πŸ™‚ I’m hoping Match and I can plan a game night or a hike with Good Couple in the near future.

Good Couple took off around ten, but the rest of us decided to head out to a bar to meet up with some of the other recruits. There were a handful of guys and one female recruit who was so thin she looked like she guzzled Lipofuze for every meal. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to nickname her Flirty Recruit because she was hanging on everyone. Now I’m really secure with myself and my relationship with Match. Still, it was bugging me to watch her hang on the other married recruits who didn’t bring their wives out. I decided to be a bigger person and get to know this girl and try not to judge too harshly.I noticed that the entire group seemed to be pretty touchy feely with everyone, so maybe she was just trying to fit in with the guys, being the only female recruit there that night. Lord knows I’ve always had a bunch of guy friends and have always been one of the guys, so I retracted my kitty claws and decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. We had a great time joking around with the guys and it was so fun to see how well Match gets along with everyone. They all love him and he’s really in his element. I’ve never seen him so comfortable around a group before.

Match making kissy faces at Sassy. Those two are so sweet on each other.

We ended up heading to a bowling alley that had karaoke. I sang with two of the recruits, both Sassy Guy and this other recruit, Kenny Chesney. Nicknamed such because the guy looked exactly like him. I wish I could post his picture because it’s true. It had been far too long since the last time I sang and I had a blast singing for a new crowd.

While we were watching the recruits sing, one of the recruits girlfriends started talking about Flirty recruit. She’s barely 21 and so I’ve nicknamed her and her recruit Young Couple. She was pretty drunk so she was a little bit out of line and was talking loudly about not being afraid of smacking her around just because she’s a recruit. Luckily we weren’t sitting close to her and Flirty didn’t hear us. Her boyfriend turned to her and said, “You need to dial it down”. It made me laugh because it was such a future Peace Officer thing to say.

I agreed with the girlfriend, that Flirty was being inappropriate with married men, but the truth is, that’s their issue not ours. They’re married and they could have told her to back off. Plus they didn’t seem so shy with her either. I said so to Match and said, “Well it’s not like she hangs on you like that right?” To which he uttered a very non-Match response and mumbled, “No, not at academy.” My jaw dropped because Match doesn’t answer questions in an evasive way. He’s brutally honest and I know that I will always get his honest, uncensored answer. So for him to say, “not at academy” hinting that maybe, just maybe this girl flirts with him beyond that did not sit well with me. I didn’t make a scene in public though, and so I whispered to him, “this conversation isn’t over” and dropped it. The night was winding down at this point so we headed home.

In the car Match explained that Flirty recruit had come up to him and put her arm around him while I was in the bathroom. He said it was nothing at all, and it was in a very platonic way. I told him I didn’t care about that, it was just his answer that bothered me, as if he were hiding something. I told him I had no problem with another girl hugging him or being friendly. My only issue is if a girl only acts that way when I’m not around. If you feel your behavior should be hidden from me, the wife, then we have a big big problem. I don’t care if you hug my husband, within reason. Just don’t ever act one way when I’m not around and a completely different way when I am. It plants the seed of doubt and it causes unnecessary arguments. Respect me, respect my husband, and most of all, respect our marriage.

I told Match that I really didn’t like the way he’d answered my question and he agreed that it sounded shady in hindsight. He just didn’t want to lie by saying, “No Flirty doesn’t hang on me” when in fact she had that very night. He said he’d never be evasive like that again, and thanked me for being the understanding and laid back wife I am. We both groaned over Young Recruit’s girlfriend and how that was not the way to handle the situation.

We also agreed that loud bars and a lot of drinking isn’t that much fun. We’d had a lot more fun in our smaller group back at Sassy Couple’s house. So hopefully next weekend we’ll have the guys over to our place. As petty as it sounds, I’m relieved that Flirty Recruit isn’t in Match’s group and therefore won’t be coming. I may be a chill and understanding wife, but I’ve got my limits.

Have you ever had to deal with an overly flirty girl around your man? How did you handle it?

6 Comments

    E

    Love the quote! Perfect given the situation to.

    Yeah I agree if you are going act a certain way act it the entire time. Don’t act different when I’m not around. Some girls just don’t know limits.

    Like you I’ve have a lot of guy friends and they always hug me in greeting. But thats it. If she had done that I think it would be acceptable but not to hang on them all night.

    Other than that though, I’m glad your making new friends πŸ™‚

    E

    Also I gave you an award πŸ™‚

    phoebe

    i am adament when i say that i find it appropriate to be flirty with other peoples significant others. it’s just wrong. if someone were doing that with my partner, well then… there’d be a discussion with him and he’d have to take care of it. and on my timeline. can you tell i’ve been burned a few times? haha.

    besides that. i’m glad that you’ve been meeting new people and going out and having fun! yay πŸ™‚

    Jessica

    Ugh, I hate girls like that! And my husband has a lot of female friends, unfortunately. I’ve found that the best way of handling it is to kill her with kindness so she befriends you and doesn’t want to disrespect you.

    If that doesn’t work, just make sure your guy knows that you don’t appreciate the way she acts and you don’t wish to spend any more time than necessary around her.

    But it is always nice to know that you’re not alone in feeling that way!

    fojoy

    yeah, that is not right at all – I believe in something called boundaries…
    I left you a little something over at my blog πŸ˜‰

    Michelle

    You look SO cute in that photo! Love the top.

    Obvi I don’t deal with this issue on a husband-level, which must be even MORE infuriating, but people who don’t understand social cues/boundaries in GENERAL are so irritating. We have this one girl who no one in our group is really friends with who shows up in our suite’s living room and just hangs out, which is really irritating when I want to come home after a long day of class/work and snuggle with my boy. Our living room barely has enough seating for the group of us, so when she plops down on the couch next to L. I have to sit on the floor. Go away! Haha

Your comments make my day!