Hen Party

[at a bachelorette party]
Jay: [using a Black dildo as a phone] Wait a minute. Yes, Mr. President. Yes, the erection results are in.
Cal: [Holding up a blue and white striped dildo] Hey, guys, look, it’s Dr. Seuss’ penis. “I really mean this.”
Andy: [holds up a penis shaped cake tray] Hey, everybody, who wants penis cake?
Nicky: I do!
Cal: She does!
Andy: Hey, you guys, Betty Cocker! –The 40  Year Old Virgin

The Friday before the wedding Monica invited me out for a night in San Francisco as one last “wild night” before I tie the knot. So after work I hopped in the car with Monica, Monica’s Lil Sis and we headed to Tahoe Girl’s new apartment in the city. I don’t know if I mentioned this but Tahoe Couple moved to SF and live really close to the Giants Stadium!

I was so stoked about spending one last night out with the ladies. The Jack and Jill Party was awesome, but this was just us chicas. I was nervous about my stupid arm rash and really self conscious about it but the girls convinced me that no one would see it when we went out. They were right and after awhile I even forgot it was there. You can see it in a few of the pictures though because of the flash and it looks so frightening!

We started the night off with a bang when Monica pulled out penis straws for us to drink with our champagne at Tahoe Couple’s apartment. The joke of the night happened when Monica said, “Wow these are really big” meaning the straw itself. Of course Tahoe Couple’s roommate had to fire back with, “Wow that doesn’t say much for Chandler does it?” All night poor Mon had to listen to that joke on repeat!

As we were getting ready, Monica was busy working on a sign for me. I didn’t know exactly what it was until she was finished. Turns out it was my check list for the Hen Party, and included all the things I had to do on our night out.

She made me wear it the whole night, and as we went from place to place we got people to help me check off the list.

The first place we went the bouncer took one look at us and started cracking up. We had our penis straws sticking out of our dresses and he said, “Ya’ll know you’ve got penises in your cleavage right?” When we walked into the bar, the very first guy we saw came running up and took one look at my list and announced he was going to help us.
I thought maybe he’d do the easiest one on the list and just buy me a drink. But nope, instead, he did this:

Not only did he take off his shirt, he gave me a strip tease. This was the very first person we saw. Right then we knew it was going to be a good night. PS the guy was super hot, but we’re all pretty sure he was gay. Aren’t all the best strippers? He squealed when he saw us, hehe. I was sooo embarrassed during this little strip tease. My face was beat red by the time he got to taking his shirt off!

I danced with 5 strangers, I said “Hey Sexy” to 10 different strangers. I got a bartender to buy me a drink at this great bar called Butter. It’s supposed to be trashy and they served us 40s in paper bags. He bought us not one, but TWO 40s.

Ack see my rash? Ewww. But no one seemed to notice. I guess it sort of looks like I was a burn victim. It faded before the wedding thank God!!

There was a trailer inside the bar where you could buy fried food. We had some delicious mozzarella sticks. I can’t wait to go back there for Monica’s Hen Party.

Here we all are about to take jello shots outside the trailer while we waited for our food. From left to right it’s Tahoe Girl, me,  Lil Sis and Monica.

This was also the bar where I got the best check off on the list. I got a piggy back ride from a stranger! It was awkward and hilarious as it seems.

We headed back to Tahoe Couple’s place after last call, where we all proceeded to pass out as if we’d had the best natural sleeping pills in the world, aka lots of alcohol. In the morning we woke up hurting but happy because we’d had an awesome night. We all managed to be at that perfect level of pretty buzzed without being full blown trash. Our mini hangovers were cured over a big San Francisco style breakfast and laughter as we retold the stories of the night before to Tahoe Guy and Tahoe Couple’s roomie.

Have you ever heard of a Hen Party? Did you do anything wild or crazy for your bachelorette party? Do you plan on it?

5 Comments

    E

    hahaha priceless!! Glad you had fun! This was the night before the wedding?

    No wait you mean Friday the week before…. OK! I was thinking dang I bet you felt hungover on your wedding day! lol

    Looks like you had a blast. Love the dress 🙂 And your rash wasn’t that bad.

    Stripper guy — total hottie!! had to be gay 🙁

    Dandy

    That guy is hot but if he squealed he must be gay 🙂

    Butter sounds absolutely fantastic! You are quite the hotty btw, I just love the polka dot dress!

    One of The Guys

    Damn funny. And lots of fun!

    I’ve never heard of a hen party before.

    Hope you’re having a great time!

    Brittany E.

    That looks like so much fun. I would have died if I had to do some of those things on the list. HAHA. That would be miserable for me 🙂 I didn’t have a hen party because I live so far from all my friends but we all partied outside of our hotel way too late, with too much alcohol the night before the wedding.

    phoebe

    looks like you had so much fun!! thanks for sharing the pictures with us. those lists can be such a hoot!!

Your comments make my day!