George: Have you ever seen Elaine dance?
Jerry: Elaine danced?!
George: It’s more like a full-body dry heave set to music.
Saturday night I was all prepared for a boring and lonely night in. Match was getting ready for work and I was browsing through Facebook. Geeky was on her way to Costa Rica with her man (lucky, lucky girl) and Chandler was busy with studying for finals. I figured I’d spend the night watching bad TV and surfing the net when I noticed Firefighter Chic’s status update that she was officially done with Fire Academy. I decided to be bold and ask her if she wanted to go out for drinks to celebrate.
I was nervous because I’ve only hung out with her around Geeky, and only a handful of times. She wrote back that she was going out with some girls and that I was welcome to join them. Like an awkward preteen invited to the cool kids table I got all excited and nervous at the same time. Match wished me luck on his way out the door to work and told me not to flirt with too many boys while I was out. 😉
When I got to the bar, Firefighter Chic was there with Stylist Girl (she’s a hair and makeup artist who I asked to doll me up for my wedding) as well as a table full of girls I didn’t know. I was a little intimidated but I decided to just dive in. I have to say I’m getting a lot better at this girl interaction thing. I’ve been working out more and I’m getting back my confidence in my appearance. I wasn’t quite as dolled up as the rest of the girls, but I didn’t look out of place either. I ordered a vodka tonic and asked if I could buy Firefighter Chic a drink to celebrate her achievement and she gladly accepted. After that it was smooth sailing. FF Chic thanked me for coming out and even gave me a big hug.
We bar hopped and eventually settled at the same bar Geeky and I had danced all night at last month. Once again the DJ was mixing so Stylist, Firefighter Chic and I beelined for the dance floor. I love dancing, but what is it about men and dancing? I mean, take perfectly professional businessmen with their fancy briefcases and get them in a room with ladies and a DJ and they become complete cavemen! Whatever happened to asking a lady if she wanted to dance?! Instead they either a) grind up on you in a pushing and completely violating way or b) do what I like to call the sneaky creeper approach. These men slowly creep up on the blissfully unaware dancing queen and just when she thinks she’s safe, starts attacking her with his gyrating pelvis. Ack!
We didn’t get bothered too much I’m happy to say. I think most of that we can thank a couple of funny guys, who I like to put in the goofball category. I’m so grateful for men like these two. They’re the type that may be a little portly, or kind of dorky and don’t have much of a chance of winning a girl over by being suave. So instead, they use that dorkiness to their advantage. As Stylist and I were dancing, a couple of these goofballs came over and challenged us to a dance off. It was hilarious!! One of them broke into a riverdance, which I quickly challenged with the cabbage patch. Then his friend fired back with the sprinkler, and so on. We were cracking up and it was so much more fun than fighting off the creepsters.
We did however run into one creeper who just wouldn’t get the message. It was an ex of Stylist’s from high school. He was disgusting! He kept coming up to her and trying to whisper in her ear and get all cuddly. I asked her if he was bothering her and she said yes. So I took it upon myself to be her bodyguard. Any time the guy approached, I’d walk up and dance between them like a total clown. I even danced all over him in a joking manner. When that didn’t work I just started waving at him and saying, “Buh-bye!!” Even though he was annoyed he couldn’t help but laugh at my antics. I mean who can resist a 5ft girl attempting to be protective of a girl at least 5 inches taller than her? She cracked up and said, “You’re tiny, but you’re aggressive! You can be my bodyguard any time!”
When’s the last time you went out dancing? Did you get hit on by creepsters? What’s your tactic to get them to leave you alone?