Rewind Weekend-January 15, 2000

Robin: [Downs drink] I can’t believe my baby sister is planning to lose her virginity to a douche with a faux-hawk. This can’t happen, you guys have help me talk her out of it.
Marshall: A speech to talk a girl out of sex…
Ted: …yeah I don’t have any of those.
Barney: Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.
Robin: Please? I’m her older sister; I’m supposed to teach her how to make good and responsible decisions.
Lily: It’s 2 o’clock and you’ve already had three Scotch and Sodas.
Robin: That’s why I need your help! –How I Met Your Mother

Losing the big V. This story is pretty cringe worthy. I would love to hear your stories. I can look back and laugh now, but at the time, I was mortified!!

*Changes. A decision, so intimate. I am no longer innocent. * No, just incredibly dramatic.

-Metal Head and I have taken our relationship to the next level. I am no longer a virgin. Really, him? There were so many expectations, so many preconceived  notions about what my first time would be like. Never did I imagine I’d be in the backseat of a regal, red-faced and embarrassed, handing my ID to a cop. Yes, you can go ahead and cringe. I’m blushing just thinking about it. We were at the beach lookout point and we got carried away. MH was the epitome of sweet and caring. I have never felt a pain so bad as that though. He was careful and yet it just hurt so bad! Then the cop pulled up. He was just making sure I wasn’t there against my will. Now this was possibly the most mortifying experience of my life, but it wasn’t all bad. MH proved to be everything I thought he was. Kind, gentle, compassionate. But I still felt pretty terrible about the whole experience. Ok, first, he wasn’t that gentle, because it HURT! And second, he wasn’t that compassionate. The back of a car for crying out loud. Caught by a COP?! So.Freaking.Terrible. We lived in a small town. Everyone knew about it the next day…

So today was much better. I came over to MH’s early in the morning, and this time we did things right. I consider it to be our real first time. I enjoyed myself but I couldn’t bring myself to relax completely. I think this whole experience is just so new and somewhat frightening that I just tensed. Now that the deed is done, our real test, or should I say mine, is to see if we can withstand it. Metal Head is acting the same, but to me he feels distant. After such an intimate moment, I think it made me oversensitive to him the rest of the day. But I trust us; I’m a lot more confident than I used to be, and I’m not going to get all spazztic and clingy on the poor boy. We have a very cool thing and I don’t regret making love with him at all. Making love?! I can’t think of anyone as understanding as he is. Right…with the head banger. The guy who instead of spooning after jumped up and started playing bass guitar. Yeah…that guy. Life is complicated, but I do know that I’m happy. I don’t think my relationship with MH will change at all. It’s great, relaxed. Oh you poor naive little girl. I wish I could hug you. Tune in next Saturday to read about how things most definitely changed for me and the Metal Head.

7 Comments

    One of The Guys

    I am cringing. But partly from reading a girl’s perspective on the first time and what’s really going on in her head before, during and after.

    I already sense what’s coming. Clues: Seems distant….nah just me. AND Jumps up to play his bass guitar.

    Uh oh………….

    I still marvel at how you can read through your old entries.
    .-= One of The Guys´s last blog ..Three Guys on Cheating =-.

    Salt

    Totally cringeworthy, but only because I got caught in a backseat by a cop when I was with a longtimeago ex-boyfriend. I will definitely be tuning in for what comes next. I so wish I knew where any of my old journals are!!
    .-= Salt´s last blog ..Guess who’s back! Back again! =-.

    Meghan

    Well, we did it at my boyfriend’s house while his mother was at work (AND, of course she came home and caught us!). I also was totally mortified. She told me she was “disappointed in me and thought I was a NICE girl”.) It really made me feel bad for years. I can laugh at it now, though.

    He didn’t dump me but it hurt me every time we did it (for years!). I got lucky & he finally left me. I had no perspective from whether it was supposed to feel good or not. It took me several years to finally figure out how to have fun in bed. I hope my children have better experiences than I did. Gawd!!! I hope EVERY woman has more fun than I did.
    .-= Meghan´s last blog ..SOME HELPFUL GUIDELINES TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT INSURANCE POLICY =-.

    Annissa

    My first time was Valentines Night with my ex-husband a few days before he asked me to marry him….

    ..wait… he never asked me to marry him…. he just dragged me off to a jewelry store to “get an idea of what I liked” and then got the ring right infront of me…

    ……. I went to my moms and said “I think I’m engaged” and the first thing she said was “are you pregnant?” ROFLMBOoooooooooo
    .-= Annissa´s last blog ..Blogging On The Go ….& More Busy Week part 3 + Steve Burns Sighting =-.

    Annissa

    Oh PS …. stopping by via SITS!
    .-= Annissa´s last blog ..Blogging On The Go ….& More Busy Week part 3 + Steve Burns Sighting =-.

    Denise@TogetherWeSave

    I am cringing.
    .-= Denise@TogetherWeSave´s last blog ..Free Sample: Enfamil =-.

    hotpants

    I didn’t journal when I was younger. Now, I’m thinking I should be glad I didn’t. Ha!
    .-= hotpants´s last blog ..Oscar Fashion; Best Dressed =-.

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