Rewind Weekend-September 28, 1999

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you’re in diapers, the next day you’re gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house like a lot of other houses, a yard like a lot of other yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back, with wonder. –The Wonder Years

It’s the first weekend of the new schedule where Match is working and I’m hanging out at the house, listening to Monkey snore and have puppy dreams. You know the ones where the dog yelps and runs in his sleep? Aren’t dogs cute? So tonight is the first night and I decided it’d be fun to go through my old journals (inspired by Brittany and her old livejournal entries) and remember the girl I used to be. Then I thought you readers might enjoy a peak at this girl too! So here is a new segment I’m starting, called Rewind Weekend. I’ll be transcribing excerpts from my Junior year high school diary. Back in my awkward days of acne and sometimes even eczema covered skin, post braces (thank god!) and brand new to the world of sex, occasional drinking, and lord the hormones… So welcome to Rewind Weekend, and Date Girl, the early years. I’m going to add my own commentary in pink. Enjoy!

*Words sting. They are taken the wrong way, manipulated, pulled. Substituted for other words, or unspoken but heard. They hurt, uplift, and depress. One slip of the tongue can leave an impression for life. Makes you not want to say a word at all.* I started all my journal entries with a profound phrase I made up. I was so dramatic. Big eye roll.

Today I fought with my parents. A new argument, but the same old subject. All starts with words being taken the wrong way, and always ends with tears, namingly mine. No one said growing up was easy, but I never thought I’d be this frustrated. I just wish sometimes they’d look at me, not as a snotty teenager who doesn’t know what’s best. But as a young adult with a powerful mind and a point to get across. I like to be heard, really heard, and not dismissed. But the more I fight with them, the more I have to hold back, just to keep the peace. And that is the most frustrating of all. –I think everyone has felt this way at one point in their lives. I need to keep this entry for when I have kids, to remember what it felt like. The funny thing is, sometimes I still feel this way around my parents, and I’ve been living on my own for 9 years!



6 Comments

    Brittany E.

    Didn’t we all feel like that as teenagers? I look back and understand where my mother was coming from about most things, but I still think she was sometimes clueless and didn’t remember what it was like to be in high school. But the quote at the beginning of your high school entry, GENIUS. I wish I had done that, that would provide so much humor now. You couldn’t pay me to be that age again.
    .-= Brittany E.´s last blog ..I Need a Support Group to Run a Support Group =-.

    Andriette

    I used to write out my upset feelings and kept the pages in a file I kept hidden away – wouldn’t want my ravings exposed! Moving house let me to finding this file and I spend a very interesting afternoon re-reading my rantings. Oh, too be so innocent and passionate again!
    .-= Andriette´s last blog ..Is he Mr Right? =-.

    Salt

    OMG weren’t we all so frigging DEEP back then!? I was the exact same way. I thought I was the most poetic and brilliant person I knew. Ha!

    But as for the rest of it, I think we’ve all been there. It makes me wonder if any of our parents kept journals like this and could remember back so easily to how it felt being a teenager. I feel like I would have more empathy towards my own child, but then again, I guess I will never know for sure until I’m a parent!
    .-= Salt´s last blog ..Showered! (And other stuff.) =-.

    One of The Guys

    Thanks for sharing. I like this new segment. You seem quite level headed when dealing with your parents. And profound.

    My journal entries might have been more vitriolic, laced with expletives and other nonsense.

    That’s guys for ya!
    .-= One of The Guys´s last blog ..Where are my pants? =-.

    ~Melody @ 6 Feet Over~

    You were such an articulate young lady! I definitely remember feeling the same way when I was a teenager. My mother used to try to have talks with me about how she fought with her mother…and about how she swore she wouldn’t be that way with her own child. We fought and fought and fought. I’m sometimes surprised I made it out alive (figuratively speaking) and now I am vowing the same thing…to never fight like that with my daughter. It’s something I think about on a regular basis and she’s only 2. Hopefully, I’ll learn, over the next several years, to communicate with her on a consistent and healthy basis.

    Love the rollback blogging! I think this is a FANTASTIC idea…I just may try to find some old journals of mine.

    ~melody~

    Suki

    Love your look back into your life. I think we all have felt this way about our parents. They just missed the point sometimes. And even if they got it they thought it would better saying something else. Glad you kept all those journals.

Your comments make my day!