No Bridal Party

Phoebe: The coins have forgiven me!
Rachel: Yeah, well I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her
vegetarian, voodoo, goddess-circly shower! –Friends

When Match and I started planning the wedding we agreed we wouldn’t have a bridal party. We’re each others best friends, and we didn’t want to choose between our different groups of friends. Still, as I’ve said before, sometimes I do wish I had a best girl friend to help me out with all things bridal because there are a LOT.

Two things I could really use bridesmaids for: the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. I can already picture myself having to download games to play at my own bridal shower. 🙁

Match and I both are lucky to have a lot of different friends, don’t get me wrong, we appreciate them all. But, we are the doers. We are the planners. Our friends happily go along for the fun, but we make it happen, we initiate, except for Couple Friends. Couple Friends have that cliquey group of friends that we’ve hung out with. They’re all nice, but we will never be a true part of that group, which is fine.
Still, just once, I’d love it if we were a true part of a close knit group, where it was unspoken and understood that if we had a big moment in our lives, they’d be planning a big party. Match is feeling the same sadness about his bachelor party. We might end up just doing a co-bachelor/bachelorette party and inviting all of our friends. We’ve got some time to plan. Hopefully we just won’t be the ones planning the whole thing. I think eventually when we get a nice house, we’ll love being the planners and hosting parties and get together. I do love being a hostess. I’ve been the hostess/planner since middle school. I think I’ve planned just about every birthday or big event for myself. Just this one time I was hoping someone else would be the one to host for me.
Anyone out there feel this way? Are you the planner of the group, or do you have someone that does all the planning? Did you have a bachelorette party?



    Oh, how exciting. Congrats on getting married 🙂
    I haven’t been here in a while and was surprised it happened. I knew it would but it happened really soon.
    I am so happy for you guys.
    I so can understand how you are feeling. It’s the same at ours. we don’t have any friends together and they are all far away. We are mostly on our own, but I love to host parties.
    And would I live anywhere near you I would totally host a party for you.


    from my point of view…your wedding is the one time you get to be just a little bit selfish. so if you are feeling this way reach out a bit and ask some girlfriends to plan something for you – i am sure they will understand since you are not having bridesmaids there is no one “natural” to step up and do it.
    .-= yeti´s last blog ..I’m a little drunk and i need you now =-.

    ~Melody @ 6 Feet Over~

    Totally understand. We just celebrated our 14th anniversary and when we look back at our wedding photos (we were practically babies when we got married) we realize that the people the wedding party aren’t in our lives so much. I am the planner of events in most of my circle of friends…and we have such a broad group of firends that if we were to get married now, I wouldn’t have the fondest idea who would be ‘standing up’ for us. If anything, I would tell eveyrone to wear the exact same outfit to the wedding and call everyone to stand during the ceremony and crown them all official wedding party participants. lol

    .-= ~Melody @ 6 Feet Over~´s last blog ..Conflict enters stage left… =-.


    If can reach out to something and ask them to get things together that would be great. Thats the hard part of not having a bridal party as noone is designated. But I think it would be really cool to do a huge party with both of you if thats what you want!
    .-= Dandy´s last blog ..TranzAlpine Railway =-.

    Kat @

    Just loved this post… coming from SITS. Random, but are you going to Bloggy Boot Camp in Baltimore?

    One of The Guys

    I can’t speak to the bachelorette party, but I can speak to being the organizer. I became the organizer because nothing ever happened unless I did it. So I’ve always had a bunch of “hangers on” around me.

    But as I’ve gotten older(just a little)I’ve found people who also organize things. It’s a relief.

    I have a lot of friends, but not one big group of friends. I think I like it this way. Life is more interesting because my friends are all ages and from all walks of life.
    .-= One of The Guys´s last blog ..The Alpha Male =-.

    Young Wife

    Oh, wow. I can totally relate. This was me. In the end, my BF, my MOH, didn’t even come to my wedding. I gave a friend that I hadn’t known very long some money and asked her to plan a girls weekend at my aunt & uncle’s lake house. Sad, I know. It was a lot of fun, but you just feel like, “I throw parties for you people all the time. Why aren’t you doing this for me?” My brothers ended up standing next to me at the altar, and that was perfect. Best wishes to you!
    .-= Young Wife´s last blog ..You Know You’re a Geek When… =-.


    My 16 year-old sister was my maid of honor, so she wasn’t much help at all! Her and my mom co-hosted the shower, which was a blast, and some over-21 cousins (who, unfortunately, I couldn’t have as part of the bridal party) hosted a killer bachelorette. I will admit to purposely inviting peripheral friends just to flush out the shower and bachelorette a little more! 🙂

    Tina T

    We had an engagement party with all our friends, and that was it until the wedding. I’m not big on separate all male and all female events, even the baby shower for our first son was coed, which made for the craziest baby shower I’ve ever seen. As long as you’re happy with what you choose and more excited about a lifetime together rather than just the big day, then you’re on the right track.
    .-= Tina T´s last blog ..Love and Valentine’s Day =-.


    I’m sure one of your friends will step forward and plan this kinda stuff for you. Maybe ask some of your girlfriends to do other stuff since you aren’t having a bridal party… i.e. keep the guest book or something. Also sometimes one of the family’s will host a shower. Or what about people at work? Don’t stress it will all work out! Just enjoy 🙂
    .-= E´s last blog ..Tis The Year of Weddings & Babies =-.

Your comments make my day!