- Katsura: Iâ€™ve never understood what goes on in your head.
- Gintoki: I love the thrill of a real fight. Thatâ€™s why I hate this trickery youâ€™re pulling. Our fight is over. And yet you come, time and time again, pestering me about it. What are you, my mother-in-law? –Gintama
Match is one of those guys who has a great relationship with his parents. We often spend weekend evenings at their house enjoying dinner and drinks together. Match’s parents have always made me feel like a part of the family, since the first day we met. I never doubted their affection for me, until a few Sundays ago, when I got my first glimpse of Match’s Mom’s in the middle of a meltdown. What was supposed to be a pleasant evening turned into a monster in law moment that Match and I couldn’t get away from fast enough.
When we first arrived at Match’s parents, we both could tell that M’s Mom was in a foul mood. She yelled at Match for letting our dog in the house, even though she’s always been fine with it in the past. So immediately I went to the kitchen and started making small talk with M’s dad. We actually have a lot in common; we’re both techy, and we both like to read and cook. We also like to avoid confrontation so we let Match and his Mom battle it out about the dog.
They seemed to work it out, and we proceeded to have a nice dinner. About midway through dessert everything changed. The subject of jealousy had come up in conversation, and I was saying how I’m very lucky that Match isn’t a jealous person, and it’s so nice that I can have my guy friends (Like BT) and Match doesn’t worry about them. I said I try not to be jealous either, and haven’t had to deal with it too much, except for the time Match’s Ex wrote the emails. M’s Mom didn’t know this story, and some of you might not either.
I’ll keep it brief and say basically about 3 or 4 months after Match and I started dating, his ex emailed him saying how she wished they were still together, and all of this inappropriate stuff. Match told me all about it, and what he wrote back to her. I appreciated him coming to me about it, and while I was pissed at her for it, I figured ok, problem solved. Then about a month or so later, she did it AGAIN. At that point I said if she does it again she’s answering to me. But luckily that never came up, and Match handled it all very smoothly. So I told M’s parents this story, and thought it was all kind of funny and silly. I was basically just telling the story to say that I’m not a jealous person, but I was definitely tested in those moments.
For some reason, M’s Mom starts sticking up for his Ex. She starts going off on how I should be more considerate of other people’s feelings, and that she feels sorry for her because her heart was broken by Match in the past. I just sat there stunned, thinking, what in the world? Did she like this girlfriend better? I looked at Match and he was as bewildered as I was. He even said, “But Mom you hated her, you told me all the time how she wasn’t right for me.” At this point we both realized she was drunk, and wasn’t making much sense. She just kept going on and on about how it was Match’s choice who he dated, and she didn’t care who the person was as long as he was happy. Now that was the clincher for me, because I was sitting right there!
It’s fine to say you don’t care who your son dates, just as long as he’s happy. I get that. But when the girl he’s dating is sitting right there, and has had countless outings, holidays, and dinners spent with the family, you would think they would care at that point right? That I was a member of the family, and that they loved me? That’s what I had thought. So I sat there feeling like M’s Mom was basically saying she didn’t care about me. Match’s Dad did his best to shut her up, but she just kept going off. Then she just burst into tears without warning and ran out of the room.
Match ran after her, after giving me another confused look. M’s Dad gave me a hug and said he had no idea what was going on with her, that it was probably a combination of The Change and too much wine, and to not let it get to me.
Match went to his mom’s room and tried to comfort her as I packed up our things to leave. He came out looking angry but not saying a word until we got into the car. He told me she didn’t make much sense, that he was incredibly embarrassed by her behavior, and that he loves me with all of his heart. I asked him what she had meant by what she said, and he said he didn’t think she even knew what she was saying.
The next day she had emailed me and Match an apology, saying she was sorry about how the night turned out. She never apologized for what she said to me, she just said that there was a misunderstanding. Then Match did a great thing: he met with her at lunch and stood up for me. I don’t know many men who would do that, and I appreciated it so much. He said he was embarrassed by how she acted towards us, and he had no idea what her deal was. She didn’t really explain herself, just said that she thought I was being too harsh on other people. Never mind the fact that it was Match’s Ex who was disrespectful of Match and our relationship. M’s Mom reassured Match that she loves me, and that she thinks of me as her own, and she was basically chastising me like she would her own daughter. I think she just forgot who she was talking to, and in her drunken state didn’t really understand the point of the story.
It was nice that she apologized, even if she didn’t admit responsibility. I’ve gotten to know Match’s mom a bit, and I know she’s a bit stubborn. I’m pretty sure she was embarrassed at how she acted.
For me, I’m just nervous about the next time we see each other. I’m hoping all will be as if that night never happened. Unfortunately, M’s Mom went on a trip, and the next time we see each other will be Thanksgiving, with her entire family. I’ve always felt so welcome at their family functions, but now I just feel this shroud of doubt. I feel like that whole night I was no longer a member of the family. I was just a random girlfriend of Match’s, that may not last. I think that’s what hurt the most about it. But Match insists it’s not the case, and I certainly don’t feel that way with M’s Dad. We’ll just have to see how Thanksgiving goes, and I’ll do my best to forget about the whole evening. I won’t lie though, I kind of wish we were spending the Thanksgiving holiday in the nassau bahamas instead! Just kidding. But hopefully I’ll be able to write that the holiday was great and that M’s Mom just wasn’t herself that night.