Little Miss Independent

I’m gonna stop obsessing on wanting to be married and follow my dream. From here on end, I’m gonna be a more interesting mature independent woman. Maybe then he’ll propose. -Fran, The Nanny

With both Match and I are taking classes that the JC, our schedules have become incredibly busy. We’re down to eating dinner together during the week only three out of the 5 days, sometimes not even that. There’s a night where he’s home and I’m not, and vice versa. We’re also both working full time jobs so by the time we are done with class it’s about a 13-14 hour day. Whew!

Match has also started doing overnights at the fire station, which is a great way to gain experience, but also means time apart from me. Even though it’s crappy not getting to sleep next to each other every night, knowing he’s doing something he loves, and gaining experience in that field is worth it. Now if he can just get hired on for a paid position, that would be a dream come true.

So with all of this time apart and the two of us being so busy, it got me thinking about independence, and I’m so appreciative of the fact that I am not a needy person. It’s come to my attention that there are a lot of young women in their 20s that are dangerously dependent on other people. Since when did having a man equate happiness? Or, even when you have that man, is it such a crime for that man to have a little guy time, or, GASP, space? I feel like so many women out there are afraid to have their own lives, and must live every second for their man. It’s not healthy, and it gives the rest of us girls a bad rep.

I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak, and I’m no stranger to the absolute jerks in the world. That said, I’ve also made a lot of mistakes. I’ve been that needy girl in my past, who felt like a man was as necessary as car insurance and I know what it feels like to not know who you are when you’re not with the one you love. But having had those experiences, I feel that I’m now much stronger, and more independent because of it. I’m so grateful for those relationship failures because they’ve helped me get to where I’m at today.

Match tells me all the time how much he appreciates that I can do my own thing, that I don’t always need him to entertain me. I have my own hobbies, my own interests. Of course I want him around most of the time, but I recognize what a lot of guys crave-space and time for yourself. I think if most women sat down and were honest with themselves, they’d admit that space and time alone is great for them too. It can be as simple as a half an hour left to read alone, or an evening with the girls. Just something to remind you that you’re a person outside of your relationship. Within reason of course-if your guy is going out every weekend without you, that could be trouble. And I’m not talking about every day. I’m just saying that having that bit of independence for both people can be the life saver in a relationship.
So what do you guys think?

4 Comments

    Penny Lane

    I totally agree with you. And when you miss a guy, you know how much you really care. I see my guy almost every day, but if I ever spend a night without him, it’s torture trying to fall asleep! It makes me squeeze him tighter the next night. Plus every once in awhile, I want to leave the dirty dishes until the next day and lay on the couch like a lazy bum.

    E

    you are I are so alike at times its almost scary!! lol 🙂 I agree with you 100% I think it is great to have “together” time but everyone needs some space from time to time. Also another funny when Marine gets out he also wants to be a firefighter.

    I have some girlfriends who drive me crazy cause they want to be with their guy 24/7 and then they wonder why he gets aggrivated and wants space.

    Are we the only 2 that get it?? lol

    xandy

    I think space is really important in a relationship. You can discuss things that have happened while you are not with him and have time to miss each other.It makes the relationship sweeter..just my opinion. 🙂 Goodluck!

    Hardt

    I completely agree!!! Currently am in Friend Drama with one of my besties because she has lost herself in her relationship… won’t see anyone, won’t do anything that doesn’t involve him (he will only hang out with his friends so therefore she doesn’t go out with the girls) and has basically just adopted him as her life… I may be co-dependet at MANY times, as you know, but I usually adopt my boys into my life not adopt myself into theirs…

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