Gym Buddy or Insecure Cling-on?

How is it that no man understands that every woman, whether she’s sixteen or sixty, still has that awkward, insecure, self-conscious teenage girl inside of her? -Elliot, Scrubs

Lately I’ve started getting into a consistent gym routine. I’m taking these classes that are really starting to help, and I’m noticing a difference. I’m feeling healthier and happier too. So having Gym Buddy call me and want to work out seemed like a great thing, at first.

When we first went to the gym together, I had her take a class with me. I will admit it was a rough one-remember, skinny bitch broke us? Well it was hard, but I tried to tell her that not all the classes are like that. Well, she said she wanted to keep working out, but didn’t want to take the classes every night. So instead of sticking to what I liked, I caved, because I wanted to get to know this new person, and I could sense that she didn’t like working out alone.

When she got to the gym, she immediately started complaining that she was sick. I told her we could just do a light work out, maybe some cardio and ab work. She then told me she hates doing ab workouts, and sat around while I did a few crunches. I started to really wonder why she even came to the gym. Then she told me she had paperwork to fill out for her membership, and skipped out on treadmill time.

This is about the time I realized that Gym Buddy just plain doesn’t like to work out, and is more likely the type of girl to take diet supplements instead of putting in the work. I was pretty bummed because I was really hoping to have a gym friend to help motivate me to stick to my routine.

When she finally came back to we worked out on the stationary bikes, we chatted it up. One thing I found is that GB comes on strong! I mentioned that Brazil and I do a weekly night movie night and GB slaps me on the arm and says, WE need to do a movie night. I was kind of hesitant, as my nights are fairly packed as it is. I told her we could definitely try sometime though.

After that, she talked about us going on a trip to Vegas, going on double dates, and tons of other stuff. While I’m flattered, I’m also very wary. I don’t know this girl that well, and she seems intense and a bit needy. She also seems to be that girl that needs to be included in everything. I feel sorry for her, but I also feel like I need to approach this one with caution.

The next day, I was on facebook and GB messaged me. We chatted about nothing much, and then I reminded her of the wine party I invited her to come to with me and Couple Wife. This wine party is a wine and food pairing at none other than Birthday Twin’s winery. I had told GB about it when we were shopping, and she sounded really excited.

So first Gym Buddy says she doesn’t remember me telling her about the party, and that she’s going to a bbq with her boyfriend. I say, no biggie, maybe next time you can come with us. Then she asked who else was going, and I said Couple Wife. That’s when she writes, “Oh, I think she’s going to the bbq I’m going too. Sucks she double booked!” To which I just say something like, that’s fine, bummer but ok. I’m thinking to myself that sucks because I really wanted a girlfriend to come with me to BT’s party. Match has his internship, and I just think out of respect, I don’t want to show up alone. I know Match would feel better knowing I brought a friend too.

So as I’m thinking this, GB types, “Oh nevermind, I just texted her, she’s not going to the bbq.” I just sat there re-reading it thinking, why on earth would she text her that? It was very nosey, and a bit odd.

So then I said, “Well bummer that you have that bbq, but next time we should all go.” Then she says, “No I want to go with you guys.” Now isn’t that completely random? I had just invited her and she had other plans, but the minute I mentioned Couple Wife’s name, she was all over it. I texted CW, saying I just had the most random IM chat with Gym Buddy. She then told me that is how GB is, that she has to be included in everything, and she’s very possessive and jealous. She said she probably didn’t want to go to the bbq without her, because she’s not one who can just mingle with people she doesn’t know that well.

I was kind of shaken up by this little weird IM, text three way conversation. I just felt like I was thrown into a Mean Girls type scenario. I just laughed and wrote to Couple Wife, wow, this is drama, I do not speak girl! So we got kind of a chuckle out of it.

Match and I went over to Couple Friends house for game night last night, where Couple Wife and I had the chance to talk further. I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but Gym Buddy used to hook up with Couple Hubby, before he met Couple Wife. The really strange thing is, I guess she likes to bring this up to anyone that will listen. Couple Wife told me that weeks ago, and I just took it with a grain of salt. That is, until we were coming back from shopping, and she mentioned how she used to sleep with Couple Hubby! I cut her off quick and said that it was great they can still be friends, and how nice that she gets along so well with Couple Wife.

I told Couple Wife what Gym Buddy said, and told her how I thought it was so weird that she’d even mention it. We hadn’t even talked about Couple Friends, she just randomly brought it up. I think again, it’s an insecurity complex, and maybe she thought I’d feel sorry for her. The sad thing is, she has a boyfriend who is a really nice guy, and yet she seems to almost pine for Couple Hubby right in front of him!

I think the moral of this ramble is not that I hate GB. It’s just that I’m very wary of her. I have so much respect for Couple Wife for putting up with her, because if I were in her shoes, I’d probably get mad at all the references to her past with Couple Hubby. Also, when we talked, Couple Wife emphasised GB’s good qualities, and made sure I knew that she can be fun in small doses.

I ended up calling up Miss PHD about GB’s constant flakiness when it came to the gym. I think I’m going to take her advice and just invite her along, but not rearrange my schedule or skip out on my classes. If she wants to join me, cool, but if not, that’s ok too. I don’t see us becoming close, but I do think she’s someone I can hang out with when bored. It makes me a little sad though, because I feel I’ve gotten to that age where quality of friendships are so much more important than quantity.

I see some good in Gym Buddy, but that insecurity blanket of hers has got to come off, or it will drive me up the wall, the same as Reality Check’s did. I can only hope that by her hanging out with Couple Wife and me, maybe our confidence and low maintenance attitude will start to rub off.



    Yes quality is much better than quantity!!! I’m sorry GB was kinda of a dud as gym buddy. I agree with the advice you got though in that do your gym stuff and if she wants to do it with you great if not thats ok to. Her mentioning past with Couple hubby would be kinda weird…. I mean if it were in a joke context maybe but even then really inappropriate. So did you end up going to Birthday Twin’s Party?


    I agree about inviting her but not changing your schedule..just get on with your own thing and if she wants to join in then she can!

    Coast Sister

    How weird. If I were couple wife I would have totally knocked her out by now. ha! But then again, I’m the ragin’, jealous type. haha! GOOD LUCK WITH THIS ONE!

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