Sugarmama Guilt

Mr. Sheffield: Niles, I cannot believe Ms. Fine is going on a cruise just because some psychic told her she had a date with destiny. Would you pay someone if they only tell you what you want to hear?
Niles: Absolutely, sir. You are so clever. And witty. And handsome. –The Nanny

Lately things have been really hard for Match financially. Between working full time for his mom, interning for free at the firehouse, and going to school part time, he has had zero time to work on studying for his real estate license, which would give him a significant raise at work. He can’t take a second job, because there aren’t 36 hours in the day. He barely has enough time to come home and eat dinner and sleep, much less do anything else. So the last thing I want him to worry about is money.

The thing is, I have no idea how to approach this. It’s a fragile thing, the male ego. Match is a very old fashioned guy, and believes he has to prove that he can provide for me. He has also talked about our relationship as being an equal partnership, and he wants to pull his own weight. He doesn’t want to be that freeloading guy with a Sugar Mama girlfriend. It’s this kind of thing that almost makes me want to talk to a psychic so they can just tell me what to say. My own personal psychic line to call up for all the hard questions in life. Do I pay for the utilities, or do I let him pay half? Do I help out, or watch him struggle just so he can save face?

I’m afraid if I just start paying for everything it will be a huge shot to his ego, and that he thinks I don’t believe he can provide for me, which isn’t the case. I have a huge amount of respect for what he’s doing, and I see that he’s working towards a goal that is all about creating a future with me.

Also, it’s not like he’s not contributing. He pays half of the rent, which is a huge chunk of change. He also does things for me constantly, such as cooking, cleaning, taking care of my (our) pets, and even giving me back rubs when I’m sore and tired from work. He spoils me, and I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.

Still, I wish there was something I could do to help him, to ease his stress. I know in part it is just something he has to go through, but I wish there were some way to know when it is going to get better for him. Maybe TeleMedium Phone Psychics will have the answer. πŸ˜‰



    That is a hard situation, but I’m sure if you have a honest conversation with him-he will completely understand. Especially if you tell him how much you respect what he is doing-and how much he already does for you.


    Yeah I just think talk to him. Let him know that it’s not forever and you appreciate everything he does for you.


    Wow – that’s a tough situation to be in! But especially since you live together, I think that it would totally be ok for you to help out. Have a talk with him, but be gentle πŸ™‚


    Hey Girl,
    Hope you enjoyed my trip. You won my little CD contest. Yay. So e-mail me your address at And IÒ€ℒll send it right out πŸ™‚

    Date Girl

    Thanks girls! Yes, it is a temporary situation, and as much as I want to help, Match wants to do things for himself, which I respect so much.
    E-I totally agree with you. I was the type in the past to do everything for the guy, and then it would come back to bite me in the butt. So I don’t mind helping out in little ways, but I will never say, pay his half of the rent, and I know he would never let me. That’s what separates him and the dead beats from my past. He doesn’t take advantage! πŸ™‚

Your comments make my day!