- Barney: You know what I love about Halloween? It’s the one night of the year chicks use to unleash their inner ho-bag. A girl dresses up like a witch, she’s a slutty witch. If she’s a cat, she’s a slutty cat. If she’s a nurse-
- Lily: Wow, we get it.
- Barney: She’s a slutty nurse. –How I Met Your Mother
When I got home last night I was so excited! Halloween was finally here, and for the first time in my life I had a date. I was so ready to go out! I was just hoping that the outdoor lighting in downtown wasn’t too bright, because my lovely legs are still covered in rash marks. Unfortunately, my rash was the least of our worries.
I had just finished my makeup and hair, and I was all ready. I slipped on my Alice dress, and asked Match to come zip me up. I knew the dress was tight, but I didn’t think it would be a big deal. Well, apparently they don’t make high quality zippers on Alice in Wonderland costumes you buy on ebay. The zipper busted midway up my back, and I was left with a dress that was zipped in the middle and unzipped on the top and bottom. I tried not to panic, as Match and I looked at each other in horror. We finally got the dress off of me, and started to frantically search for safety pins. Meanwhile poor Match was lamenting the fact that he had to get up early the next day for academy, and that Halloween was off to a horrible start.
I was trying so hard not to cry as I sat there fumbling with the zipper. At one point the entire zipper actually came off the dress and I thought we were done for. Match was a in a foul mood, and in the mist of all this stress, the doorbell wouldn’t stop ringing because of trick or treaters. My dog Monkey was going nuts, barking up a storm, and my parrot was in a frenzy of screeches. It was a madhouse! I just couldn’t help thinking that the one year I finally had someone to go out with, the first time I finally had a cute couple costume, and it was going to end like this? I just couldn’t believe it, and I refused to give up.
So finally, by some miracle, I was able to thread the zipper back through the dress. I got the zipper to work successfully, and I slipped the dress back on. Then I had to lie down on the bed, suck in my stomach as hard as I could, while Match carefully zipped the dress up, tooth by tooth, so that the zipper wouldn’t come apart again. I was so afraid to move! But we finally managed to get it zipped up and then he hurried to get ready. As he finished zipping me up he looked at me and said, “I can’t believe you didn’t cry!” He was so proud of me for not falling apart. I was pretty proud myself-I think it was the fact that I had all this makeup on and I didn’t want to ruin it. I just knew that Match and I were meant to do all of these fun things, and with the way our relationship has gone so far, we just couldn’t miss out on this fun night out.
When we finally got in the car and headed downtown, we thought that we had all our problems behind us. When we got there, Match started struggling with his hood. He has a small head, and his Rabbit Head was sagging this way and that, and everytime he’d turn his head the hood would flop around. It looked amazing, but I could tell he was uncomfortable. He was trying to hang in there, but he was frustrated, and I didn’t blame him. We kept getting calls from his friend Nice Guy, who had asked to tag along with us, much to our frustration. I love Nice Guy, but he can be a bit of a pain. He is really shy, and in a way he’s a lot like Reality Check-super high maintenance. So we finally meet up with him, after walking the few blocks from the car, and while I endured cat calls from guys driving by. My skirt was incredibly short, and my thigh highs kept rolling down my legs (Which itched unbelievably bad by the way). As soon as we met up with Nice Guy, I realized that I didn’t have my ID. I had been too upset and panicked about my dress that it hadn’t even crossed my mind.
So we ditched Nice Guy and ran back to the car, and had to go home. Luckily we lived close by, only a five minute drive, but still. It was just another snag in our pain in the ass evening. By the time we got back, Nice Guy had gotten tired of waiting and went home. He wasn’t even dressed up, and he was being a naysayer from the beginning, so in a way we were glad to be rid of him. Again, he’s a great guy, but sometimes in crowds he can be more of a hassle than anything.
We got to the bar and met up with Match’s cousin and his friend, who were way more laid back and fun than Nice Guy had been. It was a welcome relief to get our first drink, let me tell you! We also lucked out and got two complimentary drinks from the bouncer for our cute couple costume. We got a lot of compliments and we both started to relax and enjoy ourselves. Reality Check and her roommate were there, so we got to meet up and hang out. We had just recently had a big talk over the phone, and we cleared the air on a lot of our issues. She as really friendly and happy, probably happier than I’ve seen her in months. It was great to see her so happy, and it really made my night. She took some cute pictures of Match and I in our costumes, and we cracked up together over the dress catastrophe.
After the first bar, Match and I wandered over to the bar next door with his cousin and friend, grabbed another drink and visited for awhile. We people watched-counting at least 7 Jokers, and of course everything from slutty nuns to slutty prom queens. There was only one other Alice the whole night, but she didn’t have her White Rabbit like I did. My dress didn’t fall apart, and we managed to make it through the rest of the night without any other snags.
When we got back to our place, we pretty much attacked each other, making out before we even reached the bedroom. We had the presence of mind to be careful with the dress, so as not to break the damn zipper again, but as soon as I was free of it, it was ON! It had been a week since we could do anything because of my stupid leg rash, so we were both so ready. It was an amazing night, and I think I fell in love with Match all over again. I couldn’t believe that despite all the problems, not once did we get mad at each other. We were calm and cool, and even when Match was grumping he kept telling me that none of it was my fault, and that he was sorry he had to get up early the next day. We collapsed after a very intense love making session, both of us grinning and saying how happy we were.
Tonight we have another Halloween costume party to go to, and hopefully everything will go a lot more smoothly. I’m going to try to find Match some bunny ears that don’t flop like his ill fitting hood, and I’m going to wear a garter belt with stirrups for my thigh highs. Cross your fingers that it goes smoothly!