The Need for Good Girlfriends

In the end I decided I was definitely 34 going on 35, but in a city like New York, with its pace and its pressures, sometimes it’s important to have a 13-year-old moment. To remember a simpler time when the best thing in life was just hanging out, listening to records and having fun with your friends. In your very own apartment. -Carrie, Sex and the City

I’ve always been one of those girls that has a lot of guy friends. I never really had close girlfriends growing up. Girls in middle school were so mean! I grew up with three brothers, and boys were just easier to get along with and talk to. I loved being one of the guys. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to realize that girlfriends are not only important, I think they’re necessary, especially when in a serious relationship. There are just some things I can talk to a girl about that a guy just wouldn’t understand. Not only that, but sadly, it is true that most guy friends are just guys that at one point had a crush on you and it never worked out. They’re sort of waiting in the wings. While I don’t agree with Reality Check entirely on her view; she believes that guys and girls can’t be friends at all. I think that it is possible, but I think having a best guy friend when you’re in love with another guy is next to impossible.

Match is my best friend, and I do still have good guy friends, but we don’t talk all the time and hang out on a regular basis. Maybe that’s part of getting older? In high school I loved being the only girl, because I got a lot of attention. Now that I’m maturing, I don’t need all that attention from more than one guy. I get it all from Match.
I still handle my girl friendships with caution, as I’ve been burned pretty badly by girls in the past. I have a few close girlfriends that I talk to on a regular basis. Mama Drama, Coast Sister, Reality Check, Brazil, and Personality Twin. I talked to Personality Twin on the phone the other day after a month of no communication. I’ve been missing that girl! So Personality Twin is in this completely different phase in her life, but I can completely identify with it-she’s just out of college, trying to decide what she wants to do. She was looking into Chicago jobs or other jobs back East :-(. Then that would be three of my good girlfriends all living way across the country from me. What is up with that? And Reality Check has been thinking of going to South America this summer to work with children in a third world country. She’s also talking about going to graduate school next year in Berkeley, which means she’ll be commuting an hour and still working full time. I can guarantee we’ll see less of each other this coming year.

I am missing my girlfriends, but it’s great to know that I have such good ones. I have 5 friends I can call up and talk to about pretty much anything, and each friend adds to my life in her own way. I can’t wait for the day when I can start planning my wedding, and I can talk to each of these women and get super girly about it all. We are gonna have one hell of a bridal shower if I can get them all in the same state at the same time! That is one of the best parts about your gal pals-that ability to revert to being little girls, playing dress up and daydreaming about your future.

One Comment

    Coast Sister

    I can relate to being burned by girlfriends in the past. I think that’s why I try so hard to be a great friend and make that effort.And I heart you! You’re amazing and I have no idea where I’d be, or who I would be without your support and love. It’s so nice to be able to call you and not be judged for what’s coming out of my mouth.

    So I just bought Sex in the City:The Movie…and it had me thinking about friendships too. I’m watching it tonight with a few girls, and starting it the same time as some friends back home. We’ve all already seen it but it’s nice to know there are other girls out there…cuddled up on couches watching the same movie about girls, good times/bad times, and enduring frienships. I’m starting it at 10 Eastern time if anyone else has the movie and doesn’t want to watch it alone. 🙂


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