Stop Smothering Me

Things are different this time. Before she was demanding and possessive, but now she wants me to do stuff and stay with her all the time.-Fry, Futurama

I can’t get enough of Match. It’s funny, I’m a pretty independent person, especially within relationships. With Match, everything is just better when he’s there. I couldn’t say the same for one of my poor exes, Puppy Guy, who had the ability to smother me from over 400 miles away. Let me take you down memory lane, back to the spring/summer of 2006, and my impending college graduation.

Actually, the story goes even further back, to high school. I met Puppy Guy when I was a Junior and he a Sophomore. He was always smiling and laughing, and he just reminded me of a goofy puppy. He was clumsy, sweet, and a decent guy. He also followed me around just like a puppy, and it quickly got on my nerves. I was growing up, and he was hell bend on everything staying the same way. He’d whine and complain about how I was all “growd up” and he didn’t like it. I know it was cold of me, but I just dropped him. Looking back I know it was a little harsh, and I always remembered his kindness to me.

We got back in touch when I got to college, and we stayed friends throughout the years. That spring break before my college graduation, I took a spur of the moment road trip to visit Puppy Guy and my gal friend Miss PHD. When I visited, I was feeling really vulnerable, and I was extremely lonely. I remembered how Puppy and I used to cuddle in high school, and how he used to wait on me hand and foot. I guess I really craved some of that attention, after dating a bunch of jerks. We ended up hooking up, and even while we were, I could feel a shadow of doubt cross my mind. I couldn’t shake those memories of how possessive and clingy he was when we were just friends, and if we became more, what would he turn into? I talked about it a little with Miss PHD and she recalled how Puppy and I had a nice connection back in the day. So I decided to give it a shot, but I wasn’t really expecting anything serious. I was nearly the end of my college career, and didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. Not to mention the 10 hour distance between us.

Puppy Guy convinced me that we could do a long distance relationship, and it started out fun enough. He came to visit me and my friends like him, though they thought he was kind of shy. It was fun having him visit, but when it came time for bed, I dreaded it. It all comes down to that theory I have about smell. I didn’t like the way he smelled even fresh from the shower. His basic scent just wasn’t appealing to me, and I knew that I wasn’t physically attracted to him.

The sad part about it was I knew he worshiped the ground I walked on. He was all over me all the time. He was planning our wedding after the first month. He had names picked out for our kids, and he already had the color of the crib bedding picked out. I was beginning to get freaked out, and felt completely smothered.

If I went out on a weekend, and didn’t call and talk to him for an hour when I got back, then I was cheating on him. He was constantly accusing me of flirting with other guys, and he’d call or text me all the time. I finally had to tell him that I just wasn’t interested in him that way. I felt bad for him, because Puppy really was a nice guy, he was just…well, a Puppy. Part of it was the point I was at in my life. 22, just graduated, the whole world ahead of me. The other was that I was just not that into him. Match asked me if I thought I’d go for him back when I was the college party girl of 22, and I have to say I’m grateful I met him now. But I’m pretty sure he’d have been able to tame me, even then. Now I’m the one writing out our kids names and daydreaming about weddings. Go figure!

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