Michael: I’m not a one night stand kinda guy, I don’t like lying to womenGob: These are lawyers, thats Latin for liar. –Arrested Development
Match is officially my roommate! I could not be more excited. It was not without drama though sadly, no thanks to my apartment complex. I can’t tell you how pissed off I was when I received a phone call last week from the manager, telling me that of course Match could move in, but he’d have to pay a whopping extra $500 deposit. We exchanged words, and then she accused Match of lying to me.
Here’s how it went down: I was sitting at work, daydreaming about moving Match into my place when my phone rings. I waited for voicemail and it was my apartment manager proudly announcing they’d received Match’s application and would gladly put him on the lease as a roommate replacement, provided he pay them an additional $500, and that I should have a good day. First of all, my a$$!! Mind you, I was just replacing a roommate, not moving out, not signing a new lease, just a new roommate, old one moves out. In any other situation, a roommate leaves, and the deposit is worked out between the new and old roommate. For some reason, my apartment complex ran Match’s credit wrong and decided he was a risk and they needed more money from him, just so he could live with me.
I asked if it were possible that they ran the check wrong, as I happen to know Match’s credit is as good as mine (excellent even). They said that wasn’t possible, and then the woman went on to say, “Well maybe he’s lying to you. You don’t know for sure.” Can you BELIEVE that? Here’s this woman, who has decided to put doubt not only about my roommate, but my boyfriend, and to further doubt his word?! She then goes on to say that he has filed a bankruptcy. I was like what in the world are you talking about? ( No way has this boy ever filed for a bankruptcy). But besides the point, here’s a woman, over the phone, giving me personal information about someone’s else’s credit. ILLEGAL!!! So I call up dear Match, fuming. He says he’ll go down there and straighten it out. I felt terrible, because this was supposed to be a joyous occasion.
He promptly headed to the apartment office, credit report in hand, to set the record straight. The lady looks at him and asks if he’s had a bankruptcy, and he says no way, my credit is in the high 700s. She then glances at her screen, and says, I’m not joking, “Whoops, I had a bankruptcy filter checked. You’re fine, you can move in with no extra deposit.” SERIOUSLY? I swear we should sue her for defamation of character. I was so mad that she put us through that. All because the woman can’t read her own credit reporting software.
As I was unpacking some of Match’s things a few days later, I happened upon one of the promotional pens they gave us at the office when we moved in. I had a brief thought of jamming that pen in that bitch’s eye. That, or at least keying her car with it. But I’m in no way violence, so I took the high road and snapped it in half instead. That’ll teach her…