The Battle Over the Ugly Mug

Turk: OK! You know what bothers me? Every little thing with you becomes a BIG issue! You make MOUNTAINS out of MOLE HILLS!
Carla: When have I ever made a mountain out of a mole hill?
Carla: Turk! If you can’t remember to put the cap on the toothpaste, how are we going to raise our children?! You know what, I’m going to stay with my sister.


Match and I had our first fight. Well, it wasn’t so much a fight as a silly half argument mixed with grins, giggles, and the occasional tickle. But there were valid points, and I did raise my voice once or twice. This second half of the month Match has been working and going to fire academy, so I’ve been soaking up our time together. We’re also getting the apartment ready for him, and the old roommate is slowly moving out. Last weekend we loaded a bunch of Match’s kitchen stuff up and brought it to my place. While he was at school, I decided to be helpful and unpack his boxes. That is when I came across the most hideous coffee cup in the world.

When Match came home from class, I told him that I was putting the hideous cup in the good will. He then got this strange look on his face and mumbled something about it being a gift. I asked from who, and he mentioned his ex, a girl who still happens to be in love with him. How do I know this? Match shared a letter from her with me. Allow me to give you guys a tidbit of what it said.

You look really happy, which it seems like everyone is telling you. I don’t want this to sound wrong, but it still makes me bummed that i couldn’t do that for you. I guess you are just in a different place now. I still think you were my person, but, if it’s not both ways it doesn’t work. So, I’m glad you’ve found a new person. Anyway, i didn’t mean for that to be a downer. Can i still say you look cute with your hair gelled? haha :P. There isn’t too much going on with me. [My boyfriend] and i broke up for 1 day… It still kind of confuses me but he is too embarassed to talk about it. We are planning to move in when my lease ends which isn’t until like march or april, hopefully things stay ok until then. Do you think that is a bad idea? sometimes i wonder if maybe you and i moved in too soon or if we would’ve have ended sooner or later anyway.. i don’t want to make the same mistakes is all. i don’t think i will ever find anyone that makes me feel the way you did, but he is a good person i think. you know me, i always think there’s just 1 person for each person.

So you can see why I dislike his ex. She is obviously still in love with him and she knows about me. She was looking at his myspace, and she sees that my dear Match has our pictures plastered all over it. What I did like was the fact that Match showed me the email. He is so open about everything, and I have never had to question or doubt him. I have complete trust in him, and I know he doesn’t feel the same about her. He even wrote me what he replied. He basically ignored the comments about the two of them, and simply stated, “We didn’t work because we didn’t work, not because we moved too fast. It would have ended either way.” I loved that, and couldn’t have said it better myself. I told him that up until the email, I was willing to believe they were just friends, but now I know she wants more, so I’m not as cool with her as I was. I said that I’d want to tag along if they were ever to hang out (Much as I would have Match tag along if say, Birthday Twin and I were to hang out). So I was proud of my grown up, mature behavior. That is until the ugly mug incident.

I think I must have been cranky from all this unpacking and moving stuff, but I kind of went off. I asked him all kinds of questions-“Did you two pick out this mug and share this adorable little story about finding it and how it’s so ugly it’s cute? Did she give it to you and now every time you see it you have fond memories of her? Do you LOVE HER??” Well ok, that last one I said in my head, but come on ladies, you see my point right? It wasn’t just that the mug was ugly, but it represented his past, something I try to ignore completely. But when it stares me in the face with it’s ugly yellow dog in the bottom atrocity I want to chuck it across the room and stomp on it yelling, “He’s mine now bitch BACK OFF!” Heheh, ok I know a bit over dramatic.

So then Match replied, a bit sheepishly, ” I don’t actually remember where or when I got it, and I don’t know for sure if She even got it with me, but I know we were together at the time. I’m not even sure if she got it for me or not.” So I said, “So it has no sentimental value? Then why the hell do you want to keep the ugly thing?” And this is the funny part- he turned red, looked down at the ground and said, “Um…I just like it. I thought if I said it was sentimental you’d let me keep it.” So then we started busting up laughing, and I told him he had quite possibly the worst taste in the world, but that if he really wanted the damn thing then we could keep it in the cupboard but I would never use it. I also made him promise that it wasn’t because of some weird attachment to Her. He did what he does best and made me melt by saying, “No one could change the way I feel about you. I love you, I feel nothing but friendship towards her. She’s just a cup. I have you.” I couldn’t very well keep up the arguing at that point, so we snuggled up together instead. He started chuckling and said, “You know you have to blog about this now right? You should make a poll, who thinks the cup should go?” So, what would you guys have done?


    Mama Drama

    I’m positive I would have reacted the same way.

    Brittany E.

    Oh god that is ugly. Adam has these ugly, old, stained dish rags that he brought from home. Everytime I see them I am so grossed out, but he wont let me get rid of them. Even if I buy new ones.


    Ugh, the dreaded ex. I think you did the right thing.



    Very nice blog you have here. Found your blog after searching information for relationships. Thanks for the great info!

    Coast Sister


    We’ve already discussed this but I thought that I’d be official and post it.

    First of all….that cup looks like some odd trinket my great-grandmother would put on display in her china cabinet. hahaha! It is not masculine in the least.

    If he’s really attached to it (which he seems to be) and it’s not due to some weird emotional connection between him and said “ex” than unfortunately you can’t toss it. My hubby is attached to this ugly mug thing he made in middle school. My reason for not using it in the kitchen is because ‘I don’t want to break it’.(ha!) So it now sits on his desk and makes a wonderful pencil holder. HOWEVER, you did bring up the point that you didn’t want to do that because then he’d be looking at the cup more than ever…since it would be sitting on his desk. AND instead of just occasionally seeing it than it would have more frequent viewings. So solution?? Use as a desk ornament with a nice 5×7 picture of you by it. 🙂 That way he sees that ugly thing, but then looks at you and sees just ABSOLUTE, STUNNING BEAUTY!!!


    Coast Sister

    Mama Drama

    Haha…ditto on what Coast Sister said.

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