For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can’t get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can’t cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don’t want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it’s everything.-Alex, Grey’s Anatomy
I’ve known for some time now that I had to stop what was going on with Birthday Twin. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t enough, and most importantly, I deserve more! Someone who calls me because they’re thinking of me, someone who wants to share their life with me, not just a bed once a week, or sporadically. So I was talking with a girlfriend of mine that I grew up with, who is now living back east and just got her PH.D. She’s amazingly successful and fiercely independent. I call her Miss PHD because she is so driven, even if she didn’t have her doctorate I would call her that. She is always single and seems to never fall all doe-eyed over any man. So you can imagine my surprise when she tells me she’s met someone, and he’s amazing. I said, “Amazing huh? That’s a new adjective for you. So where did you meet this dream guy?” Then she says, well I’m sort of embarrassed, but Match.com. I couldn’t believe it! I’ve thought about signing up, but I always thought it was for 30 somethings, not us mid to early 20s people. I don’t think there is anything wrong with online dating, I just never really thought it would work out for someone like me. Yet here PHD was, and I could hear her smile through the phone. She was gushing, and she never gushes. She was saying how horrible the meat market of bars can be, and how you just have put yourself out there, and say, ok fate, do your thing. I got online and talked to Mama Drama about it. She had suggested awhile back that I should sign up but I always declined. She pointed out that people on Match.com are usually ready for a relationship, and that I really didn’t have anything to lose. She had me convinced so I signed up on Sunday.
I was already discouraged by Monday afternoon. It was a 3 day trial so I decided I’d give it the final day and then I’d just delete my profile. I was getting messages from old guys, or super shy guys. For as nice as they were, I just don’t want to date any more shy men. I want an outgoing guy who can carry on a conversation. Tuesday rolled around and I got a message in my inbox. He said, “wow you seem like an incredible girl :). I like what you had to say in your profile and i would love to chat sometime. If you are interested let me know. if not that is fine too. either way I hope you enjoy the beautiful weather. :)”
There was something so nice about that simple paragraph, so I clicked on his profile. I was greeted with a picture of a Greek god. It was a guy with his shirt off, exposing his incredibly sculpted shirtless chest. I was kind of turned off by the fact that it was his main picture, but I looked at the others he had posted. He had a really cute face, with a contagious smile. His pictures were silly, he even had one where he was wearing mini short shorts and a wig. His profile was so similar to mine I couldn’t believe it. We had even worded some sentences the same. I messaged him back, and right away he replied. We exchanged screen names and started talking online. Before I knew it we’d talked the afternoon away. He asked if he could call me sometime, and I decided why not? Its no worse than giving my number out at a bar. There was also just something about the way he wrote. As I drove home from work he called, after exchanged a couple of funny text messages. He had a great voice, and he seemed happy and upbeat. It was a welcome break from the sort of sad and anxious way BT had been talking with me lately.
We talked the entire way home, and I only hung up when I realized I needed to make dinner and work out. That evening he called again and we talked for almost an hour and a half about nothing and everything. We discovered we had so many things in common, and I already felt so comfortable with him.
Wednesday was a repeat of Tuesday, with enthusiasm instant messages and witty banter flying across the internet. We decided we should meet, and made plans to go on a date for Friday. I told him I was going to my usual karaoke spot that night, and he had plans to hang with friends at a local pub.
I got out to the karaoke spot and I was in a great mood. I just couldn’t stop smiling and I found myself replaying my conversations with Match Guy in my head all evening. I had just finished a song and sat down next to a karaoke buddy of mine when I got a text from Match. He asked how karaoke was going and said he was bored and didn’t feel like going home yet. I don’t know if it was the slight buzz I had or just instinct, but I invited him to come out. I figured it was a well populated place, with people I knew, and it was safe. What better place to meet a guy than this? It was also casual and non threatening for him, instead of a dinner. He showed up right when I was rocking the mic to “I’m Just a Girl” by No Doubt. I saw him in the doorway out of the corner of my eye and I knew right away it was him. He looked better than he did in the pictures which was saying a lot. It was so easy, right away I felt like we already knew each other. We found a corner in the lounge and sat really close together talking and joking around. I didn’t want the night to end, and I stayed up way later than I should have.
When I got home Match texted me that it the night was a tease because now he has to wait all the way till Friday to meet me. I couldn’t believe this gorgeous, funny guy was saying this stuff about me. I went to sleep with the biggest smile on my face.
I need to add a little twist to this story. Match graduated from the same university as Birthday Twin. It’s a fairly big school, but I figured I’d ask. I asked if he knew a guy named (Insert Birthday Twin’s real name here) and wouldn’t you know it, they had classes together. I called Birthday Twin on my way home and asked if he knew Match and he said “Oh yeah, he’s a really great guy. Why do you like him?” I told him that I had plans to go on a date with him. BT got quiet but then said that he was a great guy, and he was glad I was going with him. I then gave BT one last chance. I told him that if he wanted to date me, and really try to give this a shot, then let’s do it. Otherwise we are completely done, over, finale, the end. He said “You know my situation, you know where I’m at right now.” He didn’t even attempt to fight for me, which I knew would happen. I also knew that bottom line BT was always supposed to be my friend. I told him I hoped we’d stay in each other’s lives, but I needed more than he could give me. He said that of course we’d hang out again soon, and he wished me luck with Match Guy.
Thursday morning started out with Match messaging me again. He called me cutie and asked what I was doing for lunch. I said something about needing to get a sandwich. He said, great, so what time should I pick you up? Keep in mind that I work about thirty minutes from the town we both live in. I reminded him of such and he said no problem, it’d be worth the drive. So no joke, Match Guy drove all the way to my work just to take me to lunch. He shook my coworkers hands and made instant pals with the dog. My coworker gave me an enthusiast wink and sent me on my way.
Lunch was comfortable and relaxed, just like the night before. He grabbed the bill and looked and me and said, “Don’t you even think about it” when I grabbed for my purse. I could get used to this kind of treatment! He got out of his car and walked me to my office door, and said he wanted to give me a proper hug goodbye. He held me close and asked if it was too sudden to make dinner plans for that night. He said he didn’t want to overwhelm me, but he really loved spending time with me, and wanted to see me again. We made plans and I practically floated into my office. My coworkers crowded around me giggling and talking about how cute he was. They said he made a great first impression and said they’d never seen me smile like that.
So last night Match took me out to a great restaurant where we sat at a little candlelit table and had a great meal. I couldn’t stop grinning and I kept telling him how nice this all was. He said that he felt like he’s known me a lot longer than two days. We shared stories about our childhood, we talked about our hopes and dreams, we talked a little bit about past relationships and we talked about what we want in the future. We also talked about taking things slow, and how people always rush the physical and it changes everything. He said he was happy to go slow with me, and he gave me that dead sexy smile that made my knees buckle.
It was typical that Birthday Twin would text me then. He asked what I was up to, and when I got up to use the bathroom, I replied that I was on a date with Match. I put him out of my head the second I replied, which was unusual. I remember that with dates with PG, when Birthday Twin would call I would start thinking about him instead. This was not the case with Match. I didn’t want to be there with anyone else.
We walked along the garden path on the outskirts of downtown. It was the same garden path I had been on with Potential Guy. It seemed I was right about one thing. With another man, this WAS incredibly romantic. Match grabbed my hand and drew me in for a sweet kiss. He did a great job of not moving too fast, and the kiss was the perfect “public kiss”. Not too sloppy and very innocent. He smelled so good, clean and fresh, and I wanted to bury my head in his chest and set up camp there. I didn’t want the kiss to end, and I think I wobbled a little bit. He laughed at me when I pushed away and said, “Well, I think we should keep walking.” I’m sure my face was completely flushed. As we were walking he said, “At the risk of sounding too cheesy, I’m really glad you decided to go online.” Then he said I was adorable and kissed my cheek. I drove home on Cloud 9. I’m pretty sure the tires on my car didn’t even touch the ground.
I called BT after Match and I said our reluctant goodnight. I genuinely want to keep a friendship going with Birthday Twin. He answered and right away I could tell he was drunk. He told me that he couldn’t help but be jealous because I found such an awesome guy and I was well on my way to being in a relationship. He also said he couldn’t be happier for me and he was really glad it was with such a nice guy. He said that he believes we meet people in this world for a reason, and that maybe that reason was for me. It was one of the sweetest things he’s said to me. He said he really cares about me and really wants to be friends, and hopes I will stay in his life. I definitely plan on it-but he might just have to get used to Match being there too.