He’s Just Not That Into You

I’m not gonna sugar coat it for ya. He’s just not that into you. Look I’m sorry but when a guy’s really into you, he’s coming upstairs. Meeting or no meeting. I’m sorry but with guys it’s very simple, we’re coming upstairs, we’re booking the next date: there are no mixed messages.-Jack Berger, Sex and the City

I am so incredibly, ridiculously hung over. It’s one of those hang overs that is worth it because I had a great night. Reality Check and I decided that we needed a night out, just us girls. I told her over drinks at happy hour that Birthday Twin said he would call me and we were going to do something. She did her best Reality Check thing where she pointed out how stupid I was being. “How many times has that boy flaked on you? Now it’s your turn. We’re going out, he can wait on you for once.” So we got dolled up and we went out.

We ran into a man that used to be in love with Reality Check. I like to think of him as Off Limits Guy. RC was never into him, even though she adores him as a friend. He was crushed when she told him she couldn’t think of him as more than a friend, but he’s bounced back and they’re finally able to hang out again. I’ve always found Off Limits to be a great guy, but of course he’s off limits because even if RC said go for it, I’d always be second choice.

Off Limits and his oh so nerdy friend bought us drinks, and before we knew it, we were hammered. We spent the night dancing it up and being crazy. I love it when Reality Check lets her hair down because she is such a blast to hang out with. She is usually pretty rigid and doesn’t let herself have fun, and it is so good to see her happy. For once I spent the evening looking out for her instead of the other way around.

At the end of the night, after hours of dancing and after losing track of how many drinks we’d had, we dropped RC off. I got the bright idea to get fast food, and forced the taxi driver to go through the drive through. The guys ended up crashing at my place and I beat them both at Guitar Hero.

Finally at 3am I got ready for bed. When I came back from the bathroom, to my surprise Off Limits Guy was in my bed! He announced that he was sleeping next to me, and it appeared I had little choice in the matter. I told him to stay on his side and I crawled in. We ended up kissing a little but I stopped him. Even through my drunken haze I knew it wouldn’t be right.

We ended up having a great talk, and we talked about Birthday Twin. I told him how I already had a guy I hook up with casually, and I didn’t want two. I said I am tired of being second choice and I knew that’s what I would be for him, because he can’t have RC. Then he talked about how with guys it’s very simple to tell if they are into you or not. He said that it sounded like Birthday Twin was just not that into me as more than a casual thing. He said with guys it’s so obvious, there is no guesswork. I know he’s right and I know that if BT were really interested, he would have called. I told him about PG and how he’s been kind of running me through the ringer, and he said again that it is simple. A guy will make the time, and make it clear. He did say there was more hope for PG, since he calls a lot, but he warned me to be careful. Off Limits and I ended up cuddling, and he said he was really comfortable around me, and it was nice. I think that’s my problem though. I make guys feel comfortable, but I don’t give them that feeling, those goosebumps. I want a guy to be so excited to talk to me that he doesn’t do the wait a day rule. I want a guy who makes it obvious that he’s interested. It actually makes me feel better to know that about guys. I don’t have to wonder or think it’s complicated, or analyze their behavior when they send mixed messages. When that happens, I don’t have to second guess, I know that he’s just not that into me.

One Comment

    Candy Girl

    “I want a guy to be so excited to talk to me that he doesn’t do the wait a day rule. I want a guy who makes it obvious that he’s interested…”

    Argh, isn’t it totally frustrating? Most men totally leave you guessing…or hungry…or panting. That’s how they trap us. I had to read “He’s Just Not That Into You” twice. I think I’m gonna have to give it another go. It’s obvious info, but hard to sink in, don’t you think?

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