Standing up for Friendship

Relationships don’t work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won’t they? And then they finally do, and they’re happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven’t. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it’s couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something.-Dr. Cox, Scrubs

Now that I’m feeling better, I realized I may have been a little harsh on the Potential Guy. While I did (do) find it repulsive that he’s talking to a married woman, I have to give him some credit. One, he was honest. And two, he said he only talks to her as a friend, and he’s cutting down on contact. A few days ago I received a heartfelt email from PG. He told me how he is really trying to get past this crush on this woman, and he really and truly wants to get over her. He said he understood why I was upset, and he just needs time to get over her. He said once he figured out he wasn’t ready for a relationship with me, he was honest and upfront with me, and deserved credit for that. He also said that he really likes me and hated to think we couldn’t be friends at the very least. I have to say I was surprised that he still wanted to talk to me after all the things I said to him. He seems to genuinely care about me and so I caved. I wrote him back and said we could start over as friends, and get to know each other better.

Tuesday night we went to a movie. Ironically we went to see Iron man again, which I’d just seen with Birthday Twin. It was kind of fun to go with both of them, because it was a true comparison between the two men in my life. With BT we sat quietly but grinned and kind of spoke to each other through looks. With PG he was like a little kid. He kept whispering little comments in between the dialog, which is something I love to do. We had that whole Mystery Science Theater thing going on. I also couldn’t ignore the electricity I felt between us sitting next to each other. We both had our arms on the armrest and I couldn’t move away. There is definitely some chemistry there, and as much as I want to ignore it I can’t.

After the movie we went to dinner where we both updated each other on how we’ve been this past week. We avoided the subject of the married woman and stuck to the present. Conversation was easy, and I remembered why I liked PG in the first place. At the end of the night we shared a couple really long hugs and he said we’d talk again soon. I called him after I got home and left a message just saying that I was really happy we’re friends, and that I had a great time. He texted me back later that night saying he was glad too and he had a lot of fun, and he wanted to do something later in the week. I went to bed with a smile on my face.

At about midnight, I got another drunk dial from Birthday Twin. I was happy to hear from him, but slightly annoyed too. I had texted him earlier that day, in the afternoon, and midnight he calls me back? I couldn’t help but feel that everything with him is on his terms. I feel like he’s really starting to take me for granted and I’m annoyed by it. We talked though and I told him I was worried that he was still judging me because of The Mistake. He said he thinks I’m amazing, and a great person, and all of these sweet things that made me smile. He said he wants to see me more, and that he’d call me the next day. Thing about Birthday Twin though is he never follows through. He says all the right things when we do talk, and he makes me forget how he ignores my calls and texts, or just plain doesn’t talk to me for days on end. I can’t help but feel like I’m getting played here, and I’m getting tired of it. That drunk dial was on Tuesday, and I haven’t heard from him since. I texted him last night and didn’t get a response. I really need to just give up on anything besides a casual friendship with BT. He’s just not capable of more and I need to realize that. I’m not going to cut him out of my life or anything, I’m just not going to expect more from him than friendship and the occasional good time. 😉

So back to PG. Yesterday I was going about my day and I got a call from PG. He had a bad day and he said he just really wanted to talk to me. We talked and I cheered him up, and we made plans to hang out today. I was really surprised he called me so soon after we’d talked, and even more surprised that it was just to chat, and he wants to hang out again so soon. It got me thinking that this guy really seems to care. He’s putting in his time, and now his only expectations are friendship, at least for a good while, till he gets over this silly little crush he has. I told him off, and basically handed his ass to him, and he came back. He wasn’t ready to give up on us, even if the result was platonic. That says something about him. I’m still entering into this new friendship with a guarded heart, but I can’t help but be excited. I really do think I picked a good nickname for this guy, because folks, the man has potential.

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