Telling it Like it is

Communication: It’s the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.-Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy

I was sitting at work yesterday lost in thought, trying to get some of these confusing thoughts about Birthday Twin out of my head. I was also getting so frustrated with the Potential Guy. I couldn’t believe he would just not talk to me after all those great dates, and after such a great weekend together. I was trying to give up on the whole idea, when I got a text from PG.

His text was nonchalant, as if we just talked yesterday. This is what he wrote: “Hey how’s your week going? I’ve been super busy with the new job but it’s going good and I have lots to tell you. I’ll call you when I’m off work.” I starred at it dumbfounded and I just couldn’t believe he didn’t even apologize for not calling sooner. So he called and I let it go to voice mail so I could figure out what I wanted to say. I wanted to be upfront with him, because I can’t handle mind games. I wanted to let him know that it is common courtesy to call someone back if you’re interested, otherwise they will assume you were only out to hook up.

As soon as I got in my car I did what any rational girl would do. I called all my girlfriends asking for advice. My friend Mama Drama (who patiently listens to all my dating drama) told me that I should tell him how it made me feel. My sister from other parents who lives on the East Coast, who I will refer to on here as Coast Sister helped me rehearse what I would say. This was a great exercise so I wouldn’t just talk to him and ramble on and not get my point across. So after discussing it with my ladies, I called him back.

As I suspected he acted like all was just fine, and I let him talk. It was hard to resist his contagious enthusiasm. He seemed so genuinely happy to talk to me. But I stayed strong. He stopped talking about the new job and he asked me if I wanted to go out on a date Sunday. I said I don’t know, I might forget to return your text. He felt terrible when I jogged his memory that I’d texted Monday and hadn’t heard a peep since. I told him how not hearing from him made me think he wasn’t interested. I said it was fine to be my friend, and fine if he wanted more, but he needs to decide. I said he can’t just pick me up and play with me when he wants to, and then not call me for days. I thought for sure this little speech of mine would have him hanging up the phone but instead he surprised me. He apologized over and over again for how it must have made me feel. He said he really likes me, and he was really nervous about starting something, because of how he feels. He said that he is confused, but that’s not why he didn’t call. He said he was truly busy and he just didn’t think. He even thanked me for telling him how I felt and not pretending everything was fine. He said he still didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but he said he would try to figure it out soon. He said he wanted to make it up to me, and that he wants to take me out on Sunday his treat.

When I got off the phone I was shaking but I was really proud of myself. I said how I felt, and I stood up for myself. And the best part was it worked! Today when I got off work I had 3 text messages from PG. The first was letting me know he made reservations at this hard to get into, very nice Italian restaurant for Sunday. Then he went on to tell me he hoped I had a great day, and some jokes that made me smile. I guess lighting that fire under his ass really did the trick. If nothing else, he’s proving to me that he’s still interested. Now if I can just figure out exactly what I want…

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