Testosterone and the French Kiss

‘Stop being so testosteroney!’
‘Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat.’
– Phoebe and Chandler, Friends

At a game night with friends last night, I met The French Guy. He was sweet, kind of cute, and smart. He flirted like crazy with me, and I thought it would be fun to go out with him. I was determined not to make the same mistakes I always do with guys. I find a great new guy, and I fixate. I don’t see what else is out there and date around, keep things casual. That way I’m not devastated if the guy doesn’t want more.

So when French Guy asked me out, I said yes, even though I was still reeling from my date with The Potential Guy. He picked me up on a motorcycle, so he scored points there. Over our sushi dinner, things started to get uncomfortable. First the conversation was so bad. It wasn’t that his English was off. He was fluent and only had a slight accent. He just didn’t TALK. It was horrible. I sat there and he just starred at me. He looked at me in that way that made me feel like if I could read his mind I really wouldn’t want to. That sort of give me the creeps oh ew kind of way. Then when he did talk, he made me feel incredibly dumb. He kept referring to different places and saying, ‘you know where that is of course’ and I’d stare blankly at him, because geography just isn’t my strong suit. Then he dissed on America, which I found incredibly insulting. If you don’t like this country, why are you here??

At the end of the night, for some stupid reason I decided to let the guy kiss me. I don’t know what it was, I guess I thought, he’s French, he must know how to do it. Oh no, no sir he did NOT. I have had better kisses from plastered guys who could barely stand than from this man. Then he kept trying to grab at me, and it was like, ew come on this is a first date! I made some excuse about being super tired and promptly kicked him out.

I guess the one good thing that came out of this date was it made me see how much I like The Potential Guy. The whole time we were out I was thinking, this would be so much more fun with Potential, or man Potential would totally get my witty joke I just made, while French Guy just looked at me confused. It was good to go out and at least give other guys a chance, but I will definitely not be going on a second date with French Guy. He can keep his fancy motorcycle and his accent, and especially his roaming hands to himself!

Your comments make my day!