“Barney: Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal “Ohhh…” moment.
Marshall: The “Ohhh…” moment?
Barney: Yeah. That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker.”-How I Met Your Mother
So the one thing that came out of my experience with The One Night Stand was realizing I’m ready to date again. I am ready to try things out, and see how they work. The new plan though is to not immediately fall into the couple category. Instead of going on one date with one guy and saying, ok now we’re a couple, why not meet a few potentials, try them out, and then make a decision after getting to know them? Get to know someone first? A novel idea!
My first attempt at a real date was with he who shall from now on be referred to as The Hooded Sweatshirt Guy. He showed up to our first date in a brown hooded sweatshirt which I guess wasn’t bad considering he took me to Applebee’s. Now I have nothing against the establishment, hell I eat there with friends. But if you’re trying to take out a girl and impress her, a chain restaurant is not the answer. I would rather have burritos from a taco stand than someplace as unoriginal as Applebees. So that was date #1. In the first five minutes I had the ohhhh moment. He told me he smokes but he’s trying to quit. Much love to those out there who are trying to quit, but let me say this. If you are trying to quit, dating someone new is a horrible idea. Oh great…so now you can be cranky and go through withdrawals around me. Sounds like a great time, sign me up! And then there are the well meaning trying to quit smokers. They are always trying to quit, but it never actually happens. So right away I knew Hooded Sweatshirt wasn’t going to work out. But I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I’m not really sure why we women do this to ourselves. We date a guy, we notice things right off the bat that we don’t like, yet we attempt to make it work. Why not date someone that works from day 1? Guys are not that furniture you get at Ikea that you have to take home and put together. Give me something from those fancy furniture stores that they deliver to your house for you, completely assembled thank you very much.
I decided to let Hooded Sweatshirt Guy take me out for a second date. Now this is where you’ll see why he has the nickname. He showed up for the second date in the exact same sweatshirt. This time he took me to a nice Italian restaurant where his brown hoodie stuck out like a sore thumb. It was kind of uncomfortable. We had a nice date, he’s a very sweet guy, easy to talk to, but at the same time the more he talked the more I realized he wasn’t my type. He just wasn’t someone who would sweep me off my feet and romance me. I have learned that it’s ok to ask for these things. I want to be swept. I want to be taken out on a date where he picks the activities and I go along for the ride. I want a guy who will plan a date ahead of time, not text me and ask what I’m doing later that night. I want a guy who will open the door for me and will give me a smile that makes my knees buckle. Hooded Sweatshirt guy is going back on the shelf. I could have dated him when I was a freshman in college. But by now he’s expired, like old eggs.